This blog sucks.
I start this blog with a heavy heart, and feel intense sorrow for the horror that has been unleashed into the world. It is doubtless true that the internet will be a slightly lesser place for my presence in it. Then again, given what's already around, maybe I won't change the average much.
So, why am I here? Well, I guess I'm trying to offer a new and unique perspective on blah, blah, blah. Whatever. We've all heard the same routine about expressing ourselves, and sharing our unique perspectives and feelings. You know what? I don't f-ing care about anyone's unique perspective. "Unique" just means "being the only one of its kind," it does not mean "good" or "valuable" or even "interesting." Seriously, you don't know me, and in all likelihood, you never will. So why the hell are you sitting there reading this? Shouldn't you be talking to your husband, or your wife, or seeing how your kids did at school today? If you don't have a husband or a wife... well that ain't my problem, but it does raise the question of why you're wasting your time with me. Do I look like a singles site to you? Why are you so interested in what some random asshole has to say about politics, or consumerism, or (and you know it's only a matter of time, I'm not a font of fascination here, people) the newest episode of Navy NCIS? For that matter, what makes me think that what I have to say is so interesting that you should have the option of reading it? This is like some kind of twisted exhibitionism; an intellectual strip-show where I reveal my thoughts for your hungry little eyes, and you stuff dollars (well, comments) into my g-string. As anyone that knows me can tell you, the idea of me wearing a g-string, much less one with money in it, is peculiarly horrifying. So what makes me think that what I have to say is important enough to publish? Absolutely nothing. That's why my blog is titled "Total Drek" and not "Earthy Wisdom." I believe in truth in advertising.
I am NOT an important guy, and I do NOT have any pearls of wisom to share. Anytime you think you've spotted a useful idea in the midst of my ranting, please rest assured that it was entirely accidental. I labor to excise any such valuable contributions before posting. The fact is, folks, that it would be the height of arrogance for me to claim that my perspective is worth your time because it is unique- all of our perspectives are unique in their own way, which makes them all alike. My opinion doesn't matter any more than my neighbor's does. You know, the one with the really huge dog that torments the poor mailman. Your spouse and children have as much right to comment on world events as I do, so go talk to them. I'll wait, if you like, I ain't going anywhere.
If you DO insist on reading this (it's a free country, with proof of purchase. Please allow six to eight weeks for delivery) what you'll get won't be brilliant, but it will be honest. If you like what I have to say, great. Feel free to comment on it. If you don't like what I have to say, fine. Feel free to tell me that, too. Or not. Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. I don't need a good whiff of yours to know it's there.
So, make your choice: grab a seat or make for the door. Either way, it's fine with me. Welcome to Total Drek, where you'll get exactly what it sounds like, and no claims otherwise from the management.