The Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Where-The-Fuck-Are-We-Ah
The problem is, I most likely won't be able to post even if I want to. It's time for the yearly misery journey. Unlike a standard misery journey, however, the misery usually accompanies the trip, rather than provides a motivation for it. See, for the past few years I've been involved in a project that requires that I go travelling for a few days once a year. Last year the misery journey didn't occur until the summer but, the fates not always being kind, this year the misery journey must happen now, this very week. This is particularly sad for me since I've only just started to feel like I've been getting on top of my work for the semester. So, now that I'm going to be away for most of a week, I will promptly fall behind schedule again. I am, indeed, running the Red Queen's Race this year.
So what is this trip all about? Well, it would ruin the surprise if I told you, but suffice it to say that I am normally accompanied by one or more colleagues (this year my office mate, my hypothetical roomie, and at least two others who haven't previosuly been mentioned) and weird shit more or less always happens. Normally we fly for this trip but this year, as part of a misguided effort to reduce expenses, we are driving. This should be interesting, particularly since we'll have at least two vehicles attempting to caravan in some sort of half-assed fashion. This trip almost always includes a set of vague instructions from my advisor as well, which resemble nothing in their level of detail so much as the instructions given by NPCs in quest games: You must find the book! If you haven't found the book, go and keep looking! Hurry, the Dragon is growing stronger!
So, yeah, this week should be an adventure for me. Additionally, it should be educational. Take, for example, this list of lessons we've learned (Woah alliteration!) on previous misery journeys:
(1) You don't, actually, need a showerhead to take a shower. Water jetting from a hole in the wall will do just fine.
(2) The concrete outside of an airport is a perfectly acceptable place to take a nap. Even more so after just hiking several miles with all of your luggage.
(3) If you're carrying a bag of stuff and come across a pile of sharp rocks bordering fairly rough water- it's probably a much better idea to circle around and look for another route.
(4) The beach is closed.
(5) Yes, the whole thing.
(6) Okay, not really.
(7) Bring a compass- Sociologists have no sense of direction.
(8) Tip the maid.
(9) Slavic and Mexican cuisine don't mix.
(10) Some guys really will rent out their sisters for twenty-dollars.
(11) Of course, by "sister" they probably mean, "eight year-old boy."
(12) Pack an extra pair of shoes. Don't ask why, just do it.
(13) Also: pack a towel.
(14) Jim Carey movies make as much sense in Spanish as they do in English.
(15) It's amazing how much free food you can find so long as you have no pride whatsoever.
(16) As it happens, YOU have no pride. Isn't that convenient?
(17) It actually is possible to turn two chairs into beds for two people, but don't be surprised when you wake up with your face pressed against someone else's boot.
(18) Pinch it long enough and it'll stop bleeding.
(19) It doesn't matter whether you spend your lunch break sleeping or eating since you won't be doing enough of either.
So, take care of yourselves and I'll see you next week! Who knows? Maybe Slag will post in the interim?
Anything is possible...