Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Get to know your Total Drek contributors!

Greetings loyal readers! We've been entertaining you for a long time now, but our true identies remain shrouded in mystery. Today is the perfect day to educate you on who we are, where we come from, and why on Earth we are subjecting ourselves (not to mention you) to this sucky blog. Pull up a chair and learn some fascinating fun facts about your brilliant insightful well-meaning clean-shaven totally insane contributors, Drek and Slag!

Facts about Drek

Drek was born April 1, 1958, in Hell.

Drek was raised by wolves.

Drek's favorite mixed drink is Jack and Diet Coke, with a splash of peyote.

Drek writes goth poetry and publishes it in his LiveJournal.

Drek recorded Top-40 hits in the 1980s under the stage name "George Michael."

Drek is employed by the Hawaiian Department of Agriculture as a pineapple sociologist.

Drek owns a large and varied collection of pornography. His favorite video is Indo-European Women of Indeterminate Age Provide Sexual Services to Men with Impossibly Large Penises. You can see the full video here.

Drek had a blackbelt in karate, but they kicked him out for being a wuss.

Drek sold his soul to Satan Dick Clark.

Drek laughs at your pitiful attempts to seduce him. Yes, you!

Drek invented spam, popups, spyware, the Happy99 virus, Windows ME, and the term "Information Superhighway." Let him know what you think of his inventions through the "Contact Drek" link on this page.


Facts about Slag

Slag was born April 1, 1961, in Fucking.

Slag was raised by moose.

Slag's too sexy for his shirt, too sexy for his shirt, so sexy it hurts.

Slag owns a 1971 Cadillac DeVille that his German friends refer to as "Der Pimpenkär." It has a bumper sticker that says, "Don't blame me, I voted for your mom."

Slag was a recurring guest star on the original Star Trek. He played the guy in the red shirt that got killed by the monster on that planet. You know the one.

Slag's name spelled backwards is "Gals," of which he is very fond. But of course, you already knew that.

Slag is a retired goalkeeper for F.C. Íþróttabandalag Akraness of the Icelandic Soccer League.

Hey, Slag has a fan club!

Everything Slag says is a lie.

Especially this post.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn it Slag, I was going to be cute and fluffy today and not comment on random blogs. I am wearing pink. For those of you who follow links - once you get bored with the badgers (admittedly, the badgers are good) you notice the Green Bay Packers and Brett Favre links. Grr American football indoctrination. Talk about nancy boys- you guys need to start watching rugby, a sport for real men.

Friday, April 01, 2005 1:28:00 AM  
Blogger Drek said...

Hell, Anonymous, Slag and I have played rugby on more than one occasion. Does that make us real men?

Friday, April 01, 2005 9:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Badgers, Packers, you guys are just trying to get on the WI wave after the latest, utterly meaningless, US News rankings. If I see even one post about cheese here, I swear I'll never come back!

Friday, April 01, 2005 9:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And here I was thinking you were just a couple of big girlie wussbags.

Ishmael

Monday, April 04, 2005 8:16:00 AM  

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