What story provided such a paradigmatic case of outright incompetence? Why, the story on whether or not cloned meat is safe. Well, specifically, whether or not meat and milk derived from cloned cattle is safe. The headline of the story really sums the entire thing up:
Cloned Meat, Milk Like Real Thing
Why yes; yes they are. That's because, and try to stay with me here, they're meat and milk. When something is cloned, it doesn't get made out of gumdrops, or asbestos, or arsenic. It's a genetically-identical organism. Answer me this, Einstein: when you have a set of identical twins, are they both made out of flesh and blood, or is one made out of spent car parts and glue?
So, then what the hell is this "real thing" business, you yerk-toading chiba-monkey? It kinda irritates me that a major news organization is reporting that:
The researchers from Connecticut and the Kagoshima Prefectural Cattle Breeding Institute in Japan analyzed milk for a variety of factors including protein, fat, lactose and solids and studied more than 100 components in the beef, concluding that both were within the range of standards for milk and meat now consumed.
Okay, wait, sorry, no- it irritates me that they treated it as a serious question.
No, wait, okay, I can handle it being treated as a serious question, even though the potential sources of variation in the cloning procedure are very restricted. What gets me is the asshole news commentator who, after the report, said that the whole idea of cloned meat made him nervous, and he wanted to know if there would be labeling on cloned food so that he wouldn't unknowingly eat "genetically engineered meat."
What the fuck are you talking about?! It isn't genetically engineered, it's a fucking clone! If two calves were born as identical twins, would you have a problem eating one of them? No? Then shut the hell up. Besides, the report just told you, it's the same goddamn meat.
I'm going to go smash my head against a wall until I pass out. Anyone who wants to join me should watch the video of this "news report," located here.