Total Drek

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Moo.

Those of you who watch the CBS Evening News doubtless saw the same thing I did last night: the single most painfully disastrous example of science reporting I've ever witnessed.

What story provided such a paradigmatic case of outright incompetence? Why, the story on whether or not cloned meat is safe. Well, specifically, whether or not meat and milk derived from cloned cattle is safe. The headline of the story really sums the entire thing up:

Cloned Meat, Milk Like Real Thing


Why yes; yes they are. That's because, and try to stay with me here, they're meat and milk. When something is cloned, it doesn't get made out of gumdrops, or asbestos, or arsenic. It's a genetically-identical organism. Answer me this, Einstein: when you have a set of identical twins, are they both made out of flesh and blood, or is one made out of spent car parts and glue?

Well?!

So, then what the hell is this "real thing" business, you yerk-toading chiba-monkey? It kinda irritates me that a major news organization is reporting that:

The researchers from Connecticut and the Kagoshima Prefectural Cattle Breeding Institute in Japan analyzed milk for a variety of factors including protein, fat, lactose and solids and studied more than 100 components in the beef, concluding that both were within the range of standards for milk and meat now consumed.


Okay, wait, sorry, no- it irritates me that they treated it as a serious question.

No, wait, okay, I can handle it being treated as a serious question, even though the potential sources of variation in the cloning procedure are very restricted. What gets me is the asshole news commentator who, after the report, said that the whole idea of cloned meat made him nervous, and he wanted to know if there would be labeling on cloned food so that he wouldn't unknowingly eat "genetically engineered meat."

What the fuck are you talking about?! It isn't genetically engineered, it's a fucking clone! If two calves were born as identical twins, would you have a problem eating one of them? No? Then shut the hell up. Besides, the report just told you, it's the same goddamn meat.

I'm going to go smash my head against a wall until I pass out. Anyone who wants to join me should watch the video of this "news report," located here.

4 Comments:

Blogger Belle Reve said...

More news:
Test tube gorilla fails to bond with newborn.(http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=624&ncid=716&e=7&u=/ap/20050409/ap_on_sc/new_gorilla).

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 11:19:00 AM  
Blogger Drek said...

Timu [the test tube gorilla] was hand-raised, which makes it hard for her to bond with her offspring, Simmons said.

Looks like a socialization problem, rather than a genetic issue. Still: interesting.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 11:42:00 AM  
Blogger Belle Reve said...

So milk is NOT milk here. And least, no milk for the babe.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seriously, with all the morons out there, the problem isn't whether the meat & milk is real. Remember that clones seem to have special deseases and die of nonsense ilnesses that wouldn't bother a normal animal. The reason some live a normal lifespan may be because they have the best veterinary care available in the world, while others die early in spite of the attention. Be wary. Insist on labeling.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 1:41:00 PM  

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