Welcome to a new Total Drek occasional contributor!
I've just discovered that I have a twin from a parallel universe where everything, and everyone, is evil. He was caught in a transdimensional warp and ended up in our universe. So, he's crashing at my apartment for a while. Since he arrived, we've been getting to know each other. He's one handsome guy, if I do say so myself. He's also been learning about our universe.
He'll be sleeping on my couch until he finds a way to get back to his universe. Or until he murders me in my sleep, he says. Living with him has been quite an adventure. He's been a good roommate, except that he keeps leaving his machine guns lying around the living room. I asked him if he could please put them in the closet, but he said I'd have to pry them from his cold, dead hands.
So, welcome to the blog, Evil Slag! Say hello to our readers. Readers, here are some facts about him, to help introduce you to the newest member of the Total Drek team:
1) Evil Slag was born in a cross-fire hurricane. And he howled at his ma in the driving rain.
2) Evil Slag attended the same college that I did (well, the evil universe's equivalent of that college). He majored in ninjitsu.
3) Evil Slag is fluent in English, Klingon, and the sweet mystical language of the deadly soul.
4) Evil Slag seeks the one ring. He's been sitting by the phone all week!
5) Evil Slag is a registered Republican.
6) What, did you expect otherwise?
7) His hobbies include drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and peeing on caribou.
8) Evil Slag wants to take over the universe. His, or ours, it doesn't really matter. He's an equal opportunity universeovertaker.
Well, now that you know a little bit about Evil Slag, let's bring him in for an interview.
Slag: Welcome to Total Drek, Evil Slag!
Evil Slag: Each passing day brings you closer to your doom.
Slag: Great! So, what's your favorite thing about our universe?
Evil Slag: Definitely your President Bush. He's much more interesting than our Supreme Overlord Bush.
Slag: Supreme Overlord Bush? Hmm, if you take the first letter of each word, it spells...
Evil Slag: I know what it spells, kangaroo-quasar.
Slag: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Evil Slag: Are you supposed to be that stupid?
Evil Slag: Soon I will kill you.
So, stay tuned for occasional posts by Evil Slag, on (right-wing) politics, (low) culture, and (Yankees) baseball. Welcome!