Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Monday, September 26, 2005

The Ballad of Jerritt.

Back when I was a wee middle-schooler I knew a boy named Jerritt. Jerritt was a charming red-headed young man who was known for his tendency to lie about basically everything. I'm pretty serious about that, too- one need only have heard his tale of flying an F-16 to realize he had a few problems with reality. I am simultaneously distressed, and amused, to report that he also happened to be a fundamentalist Christian. I will decline to speculate on whether his issues with reality, and his religious faith, were in some way connected. Regardless, Jerritt was a bit of a hanger-on with the folks I ran around with (not the cool crowd, believe you me) and while nobody really cared for him, we also couldn't figure out how to get rid of him.

In any case, a year or two into my high school career young master Jerritt turned up again. This was particularly unusual for me because I changed schools every few years as a kid and, hence, didn't really keep the same set of associates for very long. So, Jerritt started riding my same bus and, since I went to school out of district, this left me with several hours with him every day. You can imagine my enthusiasm. Even better, by this point I had completed my transition to atheism (well, more accurately I was finally self-identifying as an atheist) and thus was now exposed to a new wonder: Jerritt in full-on conversion mode. I think he imagined himself to be a righteous crusader for God. The reality, as I'm sure you can guess, was somewhat less impressive.

As a side note: no, that isn't Jerritt- it's just illustrative.

So, my journeys to and from school became rather unpleasant as they were filled with Jerritt's half-assed preaching. While I have never been particularly evangelical with my atheism, I have always felt justified in responding to preaching in-kind. As you can imagine, this led poor Jerritt into a world of hurt. One particularly memorable incident for me was when he and I made a deal: I would read one of his books explaining why evolution was wrong, and he would read Charles Darwin's The Origin of Species. As promised, I read Jerritt's book on evolution and pronounced that it raised a number of interesting challenges to a belief in evolution- but only if you believed in god. Since I did not, and do not now, believe in god, the book's points were essentially irrelevant to me.

At this point I inquired when Jerritt was going to read Darwin's masterpiece and he equivocated. He continued to evade the question for some weeks thereafter. Eventually I pointed out that he had made a bargain to read The Origin of Species and that while I, the "immoral" atheist had kept my word he, the noble Christian, had gone back on his. At this point he told me that god didn't require Christians to keep their word with heathens, such as myself, and renounced any intention of reading Darwin's work. Given that Jerritt also included Christians of other denominations under the category "heathen" and routinely mocked Jehovah's Witnesses, among others, I can only pity Jerritt's other associates.

So, Jerritt was a charmer who gives all Christians everywhere a bad name. After high school I lost track of Jerritt, learning only that he was forced to drop out of the Virginia Military Institute due to his contracting mono, which, amusingly enough given his homophobia, is also known as "the kissing disease." It is, therefore, highly entertaining to me that I now have an update on Jerritt courtesy of an old friend of mine who works in a gun shop. Let's see what he has to say:


Drek,

Ok, somewhere someone is fucking with me.

Yesterday the infamous Jarred came into my shop. This is the second time I've run into him and reason enough for me to move out of Orlando. The last time was shortly after I had come back [from the Marine Corps] and it was at a Best Buy. He still talks as much shit as ever. I'm sick as a dog right now so I played it up to avoid talking to him as much as possible without being rude. The woman he had at the time [i.e. last time] does not look like the one he had this time. Both times I got the impression they were married. This last one was a little more unusual. In the course of this she mentioned she worked at Cabaret (read -- a strip joint) and that some friend of hers from bible camp was shocked to see her on stage. It can't be for the money. According to him he works for his dad's construction company, which should be good money, and has land in Kentucky where they were living before.

1) This implies that she is a stripper
2) I thought strippers were supposed to be hot
3) Mr Right Wing Conservative married a stripper that went to bible camp

Conclusion: There seems to be some truth to the rumor that repressed people go wild later in life.


Speaking personally, I'd just like to add that I'm not sure what I find funnier: the stripper who went to bible camp, or the member of her audience that was at bible camp too.

So what's the point of all this? Eh. No point really. I just felt like sharing.

1 Comments:

Blogger Slag said...

Having gone to high school with Drek, I can vouch for the truth of his impressions of Jerritt back then. I had Driver's Ed class with him.

We had lots of animated discussions about religion and politics. I remember him giving me some Chick tract about evolution that gave me a good laugh. He also said that all Bible versions except the King James were written by Satan.

Anyway, I'm somehow comforted to know that Jerritt is living large, working for his Dad and married to a Bible camp stripper.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005 12:46:00 PM  

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