Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Blessed is he who is on the do-not-call list.

Recently I returned to my office to find a voicemail notice on my cell phone. Given that my Sainted Girlfriend was out of town at the time, and that I am involved in long-distance negotiations with a man in New York over the damage his daughter caused to my car, I eagerly listened to it.

Instead of either of these things I instead found a message from "Marilyn" in which she shared an "uplifting" bible passage with me. Specifically, she shared Psalms 1:1 and 1:2 with me. For those of you born to non-Christian faiths, or who simply were more successful in avoiding bible school than I, they read as follows:

1:1 Blessed [is] the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

1:2 But his delight [is] in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

Marilyn then remarked, "Isn't that uplifting?"

In the hopes of answering her question, let's break down the psalms:

Blessed [is] the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly,

Translation: You're lucky if you don't have people giving you bad advice.

nor standeth in the way of sinners,

Translation: You're also lucky if you don't waste your time trying to help other people.

nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

Translation: You're still luckier if you don't sit in uncomfortable chairs which, according to Google Images look like this. On the other hand, if you aren't a Biblical-literalist I suppose you might interpret this to mean: You're still luckier if you don't judge people. That sentiment I can (largely) agree with.

But his delight [is] in the law of the LORD;

Translation: But, instead, the lucky man loves being told what to do by his invisible-friend in the sky.

and in his law doth he meditate day and night.

Translation: And most assuredly if he thinks about nothing but the commands of the invisible-friend in the sky.

So, in short, the luckiest man is one who is lucky enough never to receive bad advice, who doesn't lift a finger to help others, who doesn't judge those others that he isn't helping, and who is so completely absorbed by superstition that he can't spare a thought for anything else.

So, given the above, my answer can only be, "No, you crazed Rexella wanna-be, it isn't uplifting."

I mean, crap, if you're gonna preach to strangers, can you at least put a little thought into it first? Seriously, I'll still be here in a few days- try again with something better.

As a side note: At one point while writing this post I did an image search for the word "moron." I'm really not sure why this was among the search returns. Personally, I just think it lends support to my theory that virtually anything entered into a search engine will, sooner or later, produce pornography or something similar.

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