Because you asked for it.
But, hey, I figured I'd give folks an option, and held a vote on the matter. Well, as it happens the results are in and, clearly, y'all want to know. Of the 21 people who voted, 14 were for "yes, tell us," and only 4 were for "no, don't tell us." There were also three people who seemed to want more porn and/or posts about boobs, so I imagine I'll only be partly serving their needs. So, having assured myself that my loyal readers want it, and that my Sainted Girlfriend has largely forgotten about the whole thing by now, I guess I'll present my celebrity lusts. These appear in no particular order of which I am aware. I suppose there might be a cunning plan that is really producing the order but, if so, it is a product of my frenzied subconscious and I, therefore, assume no responsibility for it.
(1) Meredith Monroe
Some of you may remember Meredith as Andie McPhee, from the popular series Dawson's Creek. She played a high-achieving, rather neurotic, but well-intentioned young woman. She also went totally buggo at one point in the series, but let's try and ignore that. At the time she was on the show, I was a regular watcher along with a very close friend of mine. This was not so much because we liked the show, as because we desperately needed a way to shut our brains off and ignore the myriad disasters we were a part of. Anyway, I just really liked the Andie character and find Ms. Monroe to have a curious grace and lightness of expression, despite the fact that in the above picture she looks a bit like she has man-shoulders.
(2) Lisa Loeb
Hey, who doesn't love a quasi-sarcastic musician with funky glasses? Partly I like Lisa Loeb's music, and partly I just think the glasses are dead-sexy. I'm one of those dreadful holdouts who refuses to wear contacts despite poor vision, so I appreciate it when someone else does likewise. Of course, there are the persistent rumors that the glasses are an affectation, but people say the same thing about me. Fashion magazines can be so cruel.
(3) Janel Moloney
Most of you probably recognize Janel Moloney as Donna Moss, from The West Wing. There she plays a seemingly-frivolous, quirky personal assistant. However, despite these appearances, fans of the series realize that she's both intelligent and capable of getting things done. I like people who get shit done. I also like women with nice legs. You do the math. Besides: she volunteered for the Kerry campaign. How can you not like that?
(4) Eliza Dushku
Many of you may remember her as the character Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There she played a semi-sociopathic super-powered woman. This is, all by itself, a fascinating thing, even leaving aside the fact that she's quite attractive. Sadly, so far her film/t.v. roles have mostly fallen into the "female badass," "horror movie victim," and "tough girl who is really sweet" stereotypes. I keep hoping she'll get a role with a little more maturity but, hey, failing that, I'll take the bikini. Believe it or not, though, Dushku has a charitable foundation and one of the most godawful websites I've ever seen, so she must have some sort of personality. Whatever that means.
(5) Helen Slater
Hey! I don't have to explain my choices to you people! I will, however, say that I liked her a great deal more in some movies than in others.
(6) Anne Hathaway
Okay, folks, I'll be honest: there's really nothing to this one aside from simple, straightforward lust. Isn't that enough of a reason? Regardless, in addition to acting, Anne Hathaway has been a top-ranked soprano in New York, and has attended Vassar and NYU... so at least my lust tends to be for relatively talented folks. I suspect she's also somewhat liberal.
And last, but not least...
(7) Alyson Hannigan
On this point, I have to agree with my colleague, Slag: Alyson Hannigan is definitely hot. At least partly, though, this is because she's one of the weirdest actors in hollywood now- and I mean that in a fun way. Between roles in American Pie, as the bizarrely perverse band geek (and who didn't know them in high school?), and Date Movie, I think she has to have a sense of humor, and an odd one at that. Given that I think Top Secret! is one of the funniest movies ever made, you can see the appeal.
And so, there you have it. Would I leave my Sainted Girlfriend for one of these women? Of course not. My appreciation for my Sainted Girlfriend stems from my knowledge of her as a good and interesting person- not to mention the fact that she's a total hottie:
As fun as it can be to admire celebrities, they simply cannot compare with reality. While fantasy can be a lot of fun, and is safe because the chance of rejection is slim, a fantasy cannot talk to you, comfort you when you're feeling sad, or wake up next to you in the morning. Fantasy is nice because it is easy, but nothing truly worth having comes easily. Maybe I'm crazy, but I'd rather have the hard reality, than the easy, but unfulfilling, fantasy.
Now go away. I have work to do.
As a side note, I just want to mention what an absolute pain in the ass Blogger's picture feature has been lately. I don't know what's up with that, but it's making me nutty. Okay, sorry, more nutty than usual.