"As if millions of voices cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced."
In any case, many of you reading this are regular visitors and as a result are familiar with the cast of characters here at Total Drek. One of these characters is the woman who has previously been known as my Sainted Girlfriend. I have referred to her as "Sainted" for the simple reason that she has to date put up with all of my crap, and remained my girlfriend. You regular readers know exactly what I'm talking about here but, for the new visitors, let me make this easy: I am a real pain in the ass to be around. Seriously. Ask the Former Hypothetical Roommate. He'll tell you. I have also previously referred to her as my "girlfriend" for reasons so obvious that I frankly don't believe I need to go into detail.
Some of you may have noted that I am using the past-tense an awful lot in this post. If so, you are quite astute. I am, indeed, using the past tense because, like it or not, my sainted girlfriend is no longer my sainted girlfriend. In fact, she's no longer my girlfriend at all. We've had a lot of conversations about this in the past few months and, after a great deal of soul searching on both of our parts, we have decided that there's no reason for her to continue being my girlfriend or for me to continue being her boyfriend. So, I must announce that, as of this past Saturday the second of September, she is no longer my Sainted Girlfriend.
From now on, she will be known as my Sainted Fiancee.
Yes, it appears that Drek the Uninteresting has finally met his match and, in a year or so, will be a married man. There will be, so help me, a Mrs. the Uninteresting and, perhaps one day, little additions to the Uninteresting clan. And all it took was a little luck, a little ingenuity, and a small token of my affection:
Who knows? Maybe I'll mellow out once I'm all settled down and responsible.
But I wouldn't bet on it if I were you.