Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Oh. So THAT'S what he's like.

Way back in my childhood when I was still Christian there was something that always bugged me. On the one hand my pastor was always talking about the dangers of living, and how we needed a strong relationship with Jesus Christ in order to survive and prosper. Without Jesus, it was said, we were damned to hell for all eternity- and that was if you were lucky! If you were unlucky, old Satan himself might just sodomize you before you were even dead.* Yikes! On the other hand, though, Jesus and his pals seemed manifestly inadequate for the task at hand.

I mean, seriously, let's consider our options. There's god himself, who is usually depicted as a bearded old guy. Probably not the dude you want in your corner for a showdown with big ugly. Then there are the angels who, more often than not, look like refugees from a Star Trek episode. Is that a problem? Well, leaving aside the fact that I question the judgment of anyone who sleeps with William Shatner, I just don't think I can be kept safe by anything that can be accurately represented in a porcelain figurine. Then there's Jesus who is depicted either as some kinda hippie or as being... you know... otherwise unavailable. Fairly clear he needs to sit this season out. Even when we get to the minor figures it gets shaky. There's Santa Claus, who has the ability to violate basic laws of physics, but probably wouldn't be that tough in a fight.** Even the Easter Bunny seems like kinda a weenie.***

Or, so I thought, until I encountered a recent documentary film outlining what the Easter Bunny really does in his free time:



Now, if I'd known about this shit when I was a kid, maybe I'd still be praising Jesus.

Yeah, probably not, but it's an interesting idea to think about...

See y'all next week!



* Think I'm exaggerating? Heh. You wish. This is not, of course, to say that all Christian churches are like this- I tend to think most aren't- but those that are make up for their infrequency with gusto. I often wonder why the more moderate churches aren't more active in opposing their radical kin. We expect moderate muslims to oppose radical muslims, so why do moderate christians get a free pass?

** Although there are dissenting opinions on this point. Download the clip and see what I mean.

*** Despite his rather exotic sexual tastes.

3 Comments:

Blogger Darren Mallory said...

Hi,

Nice blog very informative. Hope you don't mind but i have bookmarked it.

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Sunday, October 01, 2006 5:17:00 AM  
Blogger Drek said...

Oh no, Darren, I don't mind the bookmark at all. If you find my blog informative, I can only conclude you don't get out much, but that's beside the point.

The comment spam... that I mind, but the bookmark is just fine.

Monday, October 02, 2006 9:59:00 AM  
Blogger Tom Volscho said...

Dude I went to catholic school for kindergarten and 1st grade (public school thereafter) w/ supplements of catechism on saturdays where I was convinced until the age of about 17 that I would burn in hell. Seriously, no joke.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 5:53:00 AM  

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