Congratulations North Korea!
As the leader of a sovereign nation, you have to find a way to safeguard your people or, failing that, preserve your mad rule. How? How can you accomplish such an objective when so many nations are more powerful than you are? How can you defend yourselves against superpowers, and earn respect on the international stage?
Friends: we have the answer. We here at Nukular Diplomacy, LLC., have developed a fool-proof* plan for protecting yourselves from the dreaded foreign devils. Just follow our simple 4 step program:
(1) Threaten to develop nuclear weapons.
(2) Begin researching nuclear weapons.
(3) Produce nuclear weapons.
(4) Threaten your neighbors with hot atomic death at the slightest provocation.
This winning strategy is already being employed by client North Korea, who is on the verge of recognition as a responsible world player for the simple reason that, with nuclear weapons, the international community doesn't have a fucking choice.
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"My country has more goats than people and is locked in a bitter, decades-old struggle with our neighbor for a section of land that barely has a clue who it wants to belong to. Yet, we're somehow considered to be a nation worthy of serious diplomacy. Thanks Nukular Diplomacy!" -General Pervez Musharraf
"When I came to power we had just thrown off the yoke of imperial oppression and expelled the Japanese, but things weren't so good. The western powers were supporting our rivals in Taiwan and the Russians were treating us like their bitch! All that changed thanks to Nukular Diplomacy! Now, when we remind people that we're the oldest continuous civilization on the goddamn planet, they listen!" -Mao Zedong
"When I was a boy, the United States was a chicken-shit third-rate power, content to ignore the rest of the world and stay at home like a spinster aunt. Now, with the help of Nukular Diplomacy, we're considered the leaders of the free world. And all we had to do was vaporize two Japanese cities!" -Harry Truman
Don't be left out of the nuclear club! Contact Nukular Diplomacy today and ask for our free informational booklet, "Mututally Assured Destruction = Mutually Assured Fun!" Operators are standing by!
* Nukular Diplomacy, LLC. bears no responsibility for trade sanctions, surgical strikes, or invasions that result during steps 1 through 4 of our four step program. Program is not actually proof against all sorts of fools, crackpots, looneys, and psychotic dictators.