I just... wow.
I'm at a complete loss.
No, wait, not quite at a complete loss. I think I can say with certainty that your likelihood of having sex is probably the inverse of your likelihood of purchasing, and attempting to use, this item.
That's what I'm going to tell myself so I can sleep at night, anyway.
On the other hand I can think of one use for this item: something to help you breathe while you wade through all the horseshit President Bush flung around during last night's State of the Union Address. I don't have time to go through it in depth, and the boys and girls over on Marginal Utility will probably do a more thorough job than I could anyway, but I will point out this about the President's proposed tax cut for health insurance:
Most people who really need health insurance, most low-income Americans who are suffering for lack of access to decent care, don't have a large enough tax liability for this to work. For most of them, the cut in taxes will be far overshadowed by the cost of healthcare. This is, like the rest of Bush's presidency, a "solution" that sounds good, but ultimately does nothing. Or, as one commentator remarked, it's like throwing someone in a forty-foot hole a ten-foot rope.
Imagine my surprise.
Special thanks to Something Awful which first reported on this product.
As a side note: I can only feel sorry for the model in the above picture. The woman, not the man. That just cannot be one of her better gigs.