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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Subtle

Back when my Former Hypothetical Roommate was neither former, nor hypothetical we used to watch a few t.v. shows rather regularly. Among these was the classic Blind Date which, as you probably guessed, is a reality show following two persons on a blind date. What makes this show simply wonderful isn't the flat-out awkwardness of many of the dates, nor the idiocy of the participants, but the graphics that pop up on screen during the show. It's a little like MST3K applied to romance.

In any case, one episode featured a date between a relatively quiet muscle-bound man, and his extremely talkative date.* She was telling him some involved story while looking at clothing in a small boutique** and, when she finally reached the climax, it went something like this:

Woman: So then he took her home and he f----d her right in the butt.

Man: ...

Woman: If you know what I mean.


At this point, the FHR and I burst out laughing and couldn't stop for quite some time. I mean, honestly, tears were running down our faces and we could hardly see. If we know what she means? How on earth could we not know what she means? There was no innuendo there, no witty repartee, she pretty much just flat out told us what had happened and then behaved as though she were being delicate.

I'm reminded of all that by a bit of news from Iraq. In all the recent news of violence it has come to my attention that we are now, in Iraq, engaged in "Operation: Enforcing the Law." Seriously. I, like you, am used to cheesy military op names like "Enduring Freedom," or "Desert Shield," and so on. Operations usually have great, fancy names that tell you little or nothing about the actual goals. So, needless to say, it's a little surprising to see this sudden break from tradtion.

It makes me wonder what's next? Perhaps, "Operation Enforcing the Law, if you Know what I Mean." Maybe "Operation Drive into Tikrit and Fuck Some Shit Up," or even "Operation Posture For Tehran." How awesome would that be? Pretty soon the method would catch on in the private sector and we might get to see an announcement that a utility company was initiating, "Operation Face It- We Can Charge Whatever the Hell We Want Because We Own the Local Congressmen." I can't wait.

So, I salute you crazy operation-naming guys. You may not be very creative, but at least you're honest.


* Yes, I know: this description fits about 90% of the episodes on blind date. So sue me.

** French for "Holy shit is this crap expensive!"

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