Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Windows Genuine Bullshit

Despite my not-insignificant computer prowess I, like many others, run the Windows operating system. I know, as many of you have told me before, that Unix is supposed to be better but, frankly, I have better things to do with my time than learn a new OS. I've done that several times before and I just don't want to spend that kind of time.

In any case, I run Windows and, the other day, was alerted that "New updates were ready to be installed." Now, I like to keep my machines well-updated and taken care of, if only to defeat the baffling number of security flaws in the Windows OS, so I checked to see what these updates were intended to do. The answer was so fantastic, I took a screenshot for your viewing pleasure:



For those who are wondering: yes, you absolutely read that correctly. Microsoft is offering me an "update" that will determine if my copy of windows is "genuine" and, if not, will help me obtain a legitimate copy. So, in other words, it's a part of Microsoft's copy protection/authentication program. One can only imagine what would happen if my copy of windows weren't genuine. Would I fall victim to annoying Microsoft-derived in-OS popups? Would it randomly crash my computer* until I obtained a legitimate copy? Would it somehow enter my name onto the sex offender registry?

Now, as it happens, my copies of Windows ARE legit but I still didn't install this bit of spyware. There are, frankly, better things to use CPU cycles for than calming Bill Gates' anxiety about software piracy. That said, however, I really wonder about the utility of this approach. I mean, think about it: what sort of person is going to be caught in this dragnet? The hardcore individual pirates probably check all updates before installing the same way I do- and so will thwart this puppy before it gets loaded. The computer startups that put cracked copies of Windows on the machines they sell** won't be the ones who suffer since only their customers will be subject to this idiocy. Oddly, the only pirates who are caught by this will be the unwitting ones- the people who bought a computer for an unreputable dealer or who don't really understand how this works. In other words: the people that are the smallest part of the piracy problem.

Then again, maybe Microsoft has done us a favor. It's given us a little warning about the next program from the Department of Homeland Security: Genuine Homeland Advantage. In the new GHA! program, a DHS agent will be dispatched to your home, will eat a meal with you, and will then search your entire house. If he discovers that you're involved in some sort of subversive activity he will helpfully escort you to a location where you can receive government-sanctioned help. That's awfully nice of DHS, don't you think?

I just have to wonder: if warrantless searches are too dangerous a power to allow a government to possess, why on Earth are private corporations different?


* More than it does now, I mean.

** Happened to me the last time I bought a machine. My copy of Windows came on a burned CD with a hand-scrawled note on it reading "Windows ME." Since then, I've gone to building my own stuff.

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6 Comments:

Blogger plain(s)feminist said...

I mean, think about it: what sort of person is going to be caught in this dragnet?

Um...apparently...ME. (blushes deep red)

I have an excuse. It's just not a very good one.

Thursday, March 29, 2007 9:05:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Windows is bullshit! I completely agree. You must be a linux enthusiast.... But hold on.... Linux may not be bullshit, but it surely is DONKEY SHIT. Install Fedora....get rpms .... then ohh... what the f*** ...why is the touch pad getting in... gotta disable it..... oh an error message...what is this xorg.conf...yep...in Linux find out urself everything..like you have time for all this nonsense.(isnt the idea of computers to save time you nincompoops?)..yes johnny...chicken in every garage, moms apple pie and rubber nipples for everyone... thats what america is all about.... bastards.... u cant even call them bastards...every other guy is born out of wedlock.... all fake laws ... marketers.... Bullshit is better than Donkey shit... at least you dont have to grep and > ....;-)...so you fckng sods.. why dont you improve linux and stop commenting on windows!!!

Tuesday, April 07, 2009 10:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Blog owner.... if you have balls post my comment and then comment on it without altering it.... if you are another bastard... just delete it......i will find a blog to get my opinion in!

Tuesday, April 07, 2009 10:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And yeah give yourselves a break....i stumbled on this blog, and am not coming back again.... try to help your fellow linux users use the donkey shit...

Tuesday, April 07, 2009 10:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One more thing .... I forgot almost....you can use this command

lift /mnt/donkey/tail | grep > linuxpraisersmouth

"Windows and linux both are essentially the same; only thieves with slightly different perspectives marketing it"

Tuesday, April 07, 2009 10:37:00 PM  
Blogger Drek said...

Anonymous: You may be the biggest moron who has ever commented on my blog. It states quite clearly in the above post that I run windows. I even comment on my lack of interest in learning Unix, of which Linux is a derivative. In point of fact, I do not now, nor have I ever, used Linux.

And of course I have the balls to post your comment. I mean, how could I not? You have the balls to look like an ignorant jackass, so how could I refuse?

Toodles.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009 7:46:00 AM  

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