Ah, Japan, land of freaky shit I do NOT want to know about.
As many of you know by now, I have a way of learning about weird things. I also have an often mentioned love of boobs, a topic about which I blog quite frequently, and for which I have become known. There are, I suppose, weirder things upon which to make a blogging reputation but I admit that I am not completely thrilled to be the Hugh Heffner of the socio-blogging world. For one thing, I look absurd in a bathrobe.
In any case, my interest in boobs motivated one loyal reader to e-mail me during my recent absence about an article in the Onion's AV club. This article discusses a taste test involving two breast-related products: F-cup Breast Enhancement Cookies and "Oppai Jelly". In short, a Japanese F-cup is equivalent to a U.S. DD-cup so, basically, this cookie promises to give the consumer gigantic boobs. Not that the Japanese are at all interested in those. Needless to say F-cup breast enhancement cookies remind me of nothing so much as the spam e-mails I get every few days trying to sell an herbal supplement that will increase my penis and/or breast size. And one would assume it's no mean feat for the same supplement to do both.
The oppai jelly, on the other hand, is even more bizarre. It is essentially a room-temperature jell-o treat shaped like a woman's breasts and packaged... er... suggestively:
Thus, to consume this taste sensation* you would, in effect, slowly devour a woman's breasts while she looks on with a thoroughly addled expression. It's more or less like a strip club crossed with The Silence of the Lambs** and thoroughly creeps me out.
And the funny thing is, these products don't even really surprise me. Japan has a number of virtues over the U.S. including a good standard of living and a low crime rate but, at the same time, a baffling and- by our standards- odd view of sexuality. What, after all, am I to think when a society produces games that seemingly promote rape- for example Battle Raper and RapeLay- alongside games that apparently oppose it?*** And don't even get me started on the confusing cases where saving a woman from being raped entitles you to rape her.****
Eh. Really, I suspect all I am to think is that Japan is a society with quirks, like all the others, and that its sexual computer games are no more bizarre or wrong than the crazy stuff Americans come up with. Am I okay with these sorts of products? Well, I think they're sexually exploitative and potentially degrading to women. But, then again, we have all of that and more in the United States.
And before we point out to Japan the mote in its eye, perhaps we would be well to consider the rod in our own.*****
* The "sensation" in this case being, more likely than not, unpleasant.
** One of the few movies, as a side note, that is equal to or better than the book.
*** Granted, that last game technically only opposes rape by tentacled mutants. Perhaps rape by otherwise normal human men is less objectionable?
**** No, really, I'm serious.
***** Woot! A Total Drek bible reference! You don't see those every day, folks!
In any case, my interest in boobs motivated one loyal reader to e-mail me during my recent absence about an article in the Onion's AV club. This article discusses a taste test involving two breast-related products: F-cup Breast Enhancement Cookies and "Oppai Jelly". In short, a Japanese F-cup is equivalent to a U.S. DD-cup so, basically, this cookie promises to give the consumer gigantic boobs. Not that the Japanese are at all interested in those. Needless to say F-cup breast enhancement cookies remind me of nothing so much as the spam e-mails I get every few days trying to sell an herbal supplement that will increase my penis and/or breast size. And one would assume it's no mean feat for the same supplement to do both.
The oppai jelly, on the other hand, is even more bizarre. It is essentially a room-temperature jell-o treat shaped like a woman's breasts and packaged... er... suggestively:
Thus, to consume this taste sensation* you would, in effect, slowly devour a woman's breasts while she looks on with a thoroughly addled expression. It's more or less like a strip club crossed with The Silence of the Lambs** and thoroughly creeps me out.
And the funny thing is, these products don't even really surprise me. Japan has a number of virtues over the U.S. including a good standard of living and a low crime rate but, at the same time, a baffling and- by our standards- odd view of sexuality. What, after all, am I to think when a society produces games that seemingly promote rape- for example Battle Raper and RapeLay- alongside games that apparently oppose it?*** And don't even get me started on the confusing cases where saving a woman from being raped entitles you to rape her.****
Eh. Really, I suspect all I am to think is that Japan is a society with quirks, like all the others, and that its sexual computer games are no more bizarre or wrong than the crazy stuff Americans come up with. Am I okay with these sorts of products? Well, I think they're sexually exploitative and potentially degrading to women. But, then again, we have all of that and more in the United States.
And before we point out to Japan the mote in its eye, perhaps we would be well to consider the rod in our own.*****
* The "sensation" in this case being, more likely than not, unpleasant.
** One of the few movies, as a side note, that is equal to or better than the book.
*** Granted, that last game technically only opposes rape by tentacled mutants. Perhaps rape by otherwise normal human men is less objectionable?
**** No, really, I'm serious.
***** Woot! A Total Drek bible reference! You don't see those every day, folks!
Labels: boobs, Drek is stoopid, humor
posted by Drek | 9:21 AM
3 Comments:
Don't you know that 78% of the world's weird crap comes from Japan? You should see some of their game shows...
"Rod in our eye" is a Bible reference? And here was me thinking you'd just watched some really weird Japanese anime porn.
Seriously, though, Japan produces a lot of weird crap. I am continuously impressed. Also frightened.
I find the weirdness of Japan really refreshing and enjoyable and, Thanks to my old secondary school friends, it rarely creep me out.
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