Total Drek

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Monday, September 01, 2008

It's all so clear to me now.

For those who aren't familiar, there's this guy named "Jack Chick." Jack is a Christian. No, wait, that doesn't even begin to cover it. Jack is such an over-the-top, slavering mad Christian that I'm pretty sure he thinks that he's the stable boy for the four horsemen of the apocalypse. He is, in short, the kind of Christian who gives Christians a bad name.

Now, the next thing you have to know about Mr. Chick is that he really, really wants you to be a Christian too. He wants it so much that he draws, and sells, a whole series of comic books that are intended for use in witnessing to others. Those of you who have seen the movie Jesus Camp are already familiar with these- the one little girl gives a copy of one of Jack's comic books to the older woman in the bowling alley. These pamplets, referred to as "Chick Tracts" cover a very wide gamut and are, one and all, a bizarre mix of the hysterical and the just plain frightening. I've talked about them before and don't think I need to explain that assertion again here.

Having been prepared for all this, I'll let you know that while I used to read these tracts over on Chick's site out of a weird kind of curiosity* I have largely ceased. Yet, I relapsed recently and ran across a tract named "First Bite" which may just be the funniest/scariest thing I've ever seen. This tract is awesome for several reasons but foremost because it makes it clear that Jack Chick believes that vampires are real. Seriously. Most of the tract consists of the story of a coven of vampires who believe they have ushered the anti-christ into the world with the aid of satan. Oh, and there are vampire dogs and a three-eyed bear. Seriously. No idea why but, hey, there they are. See:



Now, this tract goes along as Jack Chick tracts usually do. Bad guy is witnessed to, changes his mind, accepts Jesus, blah, blah, blah. Standard stuff. But then we get to- quite possibly- the creepiest thing I've ever seen in a Chick tract:



See it there? The happy, chipper heroine of "First Bite" confidently asserting that "Blood has to be shed for sins to be forgiven"? Leaving aside that this is just a really frightening assertion to toss off so casually, I have to admit, Chick has finally allowed me to "see the light." Or, more specifically, understand why evangelical Christians, who are by-and-large rabidly pro-life, are also frequently rabidly pro-capital punishment. I mean, it's totally sensible! Blood has to be shed in order for sins to be forgiven so, hey, by executing prisoners we're doing them a favor, right?

Right?


* Think of it as the gateway into my current crippling Conservapedia addiction.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Marf said...

I always wondered why God couldn't forgive the sins of humanity in a less torturous way than killing his only son.

I mean, seriously... He's suppose to be this benevolent all-powerful-all-knowing being, and he couldn't figure out a better way than crucifying Jesus?

Tuesday, September 02, 2008 1:59:00 AM  

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