Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Friday, October 31, 2008

What could be more appropriate on Halloween?

Today is Halloween, a holiday that has come to be associated with the macabre, the campy, and a whole fuck-ton of candy. This evening small children will be wandering door to door in costume searching for candy, older children will be contemplating throwing eggs at various houses, somewhat older children still will be trying to decide whether or not that scantily-clad nurse or pirate in the corner would be a safe one-night stand, and those of us who have reached crotchety old adulthood will just be trying to stay the hell out of everyone else's way. I leave it to you to decide which group I belong to.

As Halloween is a day when the spooky, the scary and the supernatural are talked about, both seriously and jokingly, I thought it an appropriate day for this little interesting tidbit forwarded to me by a loyal Total Drek reader. It deals with witches and warlocks and magic, oh my! Specifically, it deals with an online Christian forum called inJesus that has some rather disquieting news about the current election, and a call for someone to do something about it:



And for those whose eyesight isn't perfect, the headline I've helpfully circled reads, "Block African witchcraft curses against McCain and Palin NOW!" It goes on with what I can only describe as a descent into utter madness:

Dear friends:

THIS IS EXTREMELY SERIOUS.

Minutes ago I spoke with friend Dr. Norman G. Marvin, M.D. and he is so concerned at what he has learned about Barack Obama's family in Kenya that he is calling a special prayer meeting in his home to pray against the witchcraft curses attempted by them against John McCain and Sarah Palin.

Dr. Marvin sent me the below e-mail from Flo Ellers. Flo is credentialed with the International Fellowship of Ministries which is based in Washington State. She is also a member of EndTime Handmaidens and Servants of Jasper, Arkansas.

IF YOU KNOW HOW TO DO SPIRITUAL WARFARE, PLEASE PRAY TODAY AND CONTINUALLY THAT ALL SUCH CURSES BE BROKEN AND SATAN'S PLAN FOR AMERICA BE DEFEATED, IN JESUS' NAME. PRAY AND COVER MCCAIN AND PALIN WITH THE BLOOD OF CHRIST. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO SPIRITUAL WARFARE, IT IS TIME YOU LEARN!!!

Jim


Now, speaking personally, were I a political candidate, I would be a little disturbed if someone wanted to cover me in blood. I've seen that movie- it doesn't end well. I'm not even sure what to say about the whole "spiritual warfare" thing other than just that warfare is, by definition, a fairly profane activity. Fancying your life up by pretending that you're fighting evil forces by talking to yourself in your rumpus-room seems, to me, to be mighty egotistical. Still maybe there's something to this. Let's see what this Flo Ellers of End Time Handmaidens and Servants has to say:

Two days ago, I listened to a 9-6-08 message by Bree Keyton, a young woman evangelist who had just traveled to Kenya and visited Obama's home village and what she found out about his relations with his tribal people was chilling. And his "cousin" Odinga was dreadful. She said the witches, warlocks and those involved in satanism and the occult get up daily at 3 a.m. to release curses against McCain and Palin so B. Hussein Obama is elected.

...

She said the current president of Kenya is a Christian. However, Obama's cousin Odinga ran aganist him and said he rigged the election and stirred up the masses to rape woman and boys, kill and burn and torture Christians, etc. until Obama contacted Condeleeza Rice and she granted Obama the right to contact Odinga and other ruling elders and he "convinced" them to stop terrorizing the Christians. Bree Keyton said the current Christian President was forced by our government (!) to "create" an office for Odinga (to make "peace") so he was made the Prime Minister (!) to make peace between the Christians and Odinga's Muslim religion!

...

The occultists are "weaving lazy 8's around McCain's mind to make him look confused and like an idiot". Bree K. said we need to break these curses off of him that are being sent from Kenya.


Um... yeah. So, McCain looks like a slack-jawed moron because tribespeople in Kenya are sacrificing chickens and chanting at him? It's not because he's... you know... really old and crotchety? And as a side note, Obama's uncle has debunked the notion that he is a cousin of Raila Odinga. But, really, what am I even doing? These people are claiming that if a tribesperson in Kenya sacrifices a goat it might effect a U.S. Presidential election. Is unravelling inaccuracies in kinship really going to cut it here? And frankly, I love nothing more than the realization that the solution is bad chanting is, apparently, good chanting. Now if only we could chant our way out of the economic meltdown, we'd be okay.

Still, if there's one bright spot to this embarrassing foolishness it's simply this: so long as these nutters are convinced they have to spend every waking hour engaging in "spiritual warfare" at least they're not out on the streets getting into trouble.


As a brief sidenote, I apologize to any non-crazy Christians who are somewhat vexed by this post. I have no problem with you. I'm really just pointing and laughing at the unfortunate minority of Christians who view prayer as a magic spell.

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