Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Total Drek One Sentence Movie Reviews: Part Deux!

Welcome back to our highly irregular feature, the Total Drek Once Sentence Movie Reviews! Today we will be waving various appendages skywards or Earthwards to indicate our fondness for particular movies. And since this isn't a video blog, you'll just have to imagine the appendage of your preference. Let's get started.


August Rush

Run Time: 113 minutes.

Price: Available from Amazon.com for a mere $12.99, plus shipping and handling.

Genre: Heartwarming family movie.*

One sentence review: It's Rain Man meets A.I., only with less Wapner and more implied pedophilia.**







Live Free or Die Hard

Run time: 129 minutes.

Price: Available from Amazon.com for $16.49, plus shipping and handling.

Genre: Cop/Action Movie.

One sentence review: Bruce Willis saves us from internet supervillains thanks to a heaping glass of metamucil.







Love and Other Disasters

Run time: 90 minutes.

Price: Available from Amazon.com for $14.99, plus shipping and handling.

Genre: Romantic comedy.

One sentence review: One word in the title says it all (Hint: Not "love").***










For bonus points, interested readers can guess which of these movies were selected by me, and which were selected by my wife.


* Assuming, of course, your family is okay with depictions of casual sex and illegitimate birth.

** Readers should probably note that I regard A.I. as one of the worst big budget movies I've ever seen. I would say one of the worst movies except that I've actually seen Plan 9 from Outer Space. Even worse, I was sober at the time.

*** I like to sum up the motivation for the making of the movie Wild Things by imagining a production assistant coming into an office and exclaiming, "Hey! We can get Denise Richards to take off her shirt! Let's make a movie!" I think something similar happened here with Brittany Murphy, only the producers didn't read the fine-print in her contract before signing.

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