Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Just a quick fix.

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't blogged much about Conservapedia lately. That is more or less because it is in the process of self-destructing completely. Which is to say that they've suffered another mass exodus of (relatively) competent editors and are now down to Andy Schlafly and his close, hand-picked set of minions. This is working about as well as you might expect.*

Nevertheless, a few quick updates from today's Conservapedia front page.

First, if Richard Dawkins happens to read my blog, I'm sure he'll be not even slightly interested to know that Conservapedia is calling him off. Sort of:

Does this mean Conservapedia is spamming the UK? And you thought being offered a bigger penis was annoying!

Message to Richard Dawkins: Today Conservapedia began its UK campaign as far as letting people in the UK know about its evolution article! Soon many more people in the UK will be better informed concerning why the evolutionary paradigm is pure and unadulterated bunk!


What does that mean? Who the hell knows? More importantly, who the hell cares? Not Richard Dawkins or the British people, I'm sure. Nonetheless, this isn't the end of Conservapedia's "devastating" campaign against evolution:

You just wait until Jesus comes! He'll show you! He'll show all of you!

Conservapedia has been told by a YouTube creationists that a flurry of support for the Conservapedia evolution article is going to begin soon at YouTube and it is going to be much bigger than the past! Conservapedia is awaiting details. We certainly hope it is true! Move over little YouTube evolutionists dogs, some big, old creationists dogs are movin' in!

Conservapedia has unexpectedly just learned that a well known creationist is going to email 600 fellow creationists about the Conservapedia evolution article. Another creationist just unexpectedly told Conservapedia that he is going to inform tens of thousands of people about the Conservapedia evolution article. Evolutionists, the pace of people knowing about the Conservapedia evolution article is quickening! Creationists of the world, spread the news about Conservapedia's evolution article far and wide and quickly! Faster, stronger, higher! [order flipped from pic to preserve sequence of posting]


So... yeah. They've been told by somebody that they're totally going to post some videos that, like, totally use Conservapedia. That's... um... badarse? Also, news flash, creationists are telling other creationists about a shitty article that supports creationism. Nice outreach, there. In other news, pastor stuns flock, preaches TO the choir!

From the Bureau of Made Up Statistics Department comes this delightful entry about one of Schlafly's looney pet projects:

You forgot santorum!

Essay:Best New Conservative Words is merely 2 terms away from displaying perfect geometric growth (one more needed for 1800s, and one needed for 1900s). With conservative insights expanding at a rapid geometrical rate, liberal ideology cannot last.


That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Schlafly has started categorizing and counting words that he claims are conservative and liberal. And, obviously, the more conservative words there are, the better conservatism must be! QED, bitches!!1!

In case you're curious, the list of conservative words presently includes bureaucracy,** copyright, constant, Hawthorne effect, parenting, straw man, and wannabee. New liberal terms include atheist,*** big bang, imperialism, isolationism, moderate, unfair, and unitarian. Never mind, as a side note, that many of these aren't so much "words" as "terms" or even "short phrases." I'm just sad he didn't think to include saddlebacking because, you know, we woulda at least earned that one.

Finally- and this is a shout-out to Shakha- we have this delightful little number:

*cough* *cough* FORE!!!

According to the World Health Organization, the Government of Mexico has reported three separate events of influenza-like-illness. In the Federal District of Mexico, surveillance began picking up cases of influenza-like-illnesses starting on March 18th, 2009. The number of cases has risen steadily through April and as of April 23rd, there were more than 854 cases of pneumonia from the capital. Of those, 59 have died. (As of April 27: 81 dead in Mexico and 1,384 cases.)


A potentially deadly new strain of the swine flu virus cropped up in more places in the United States (Texas, California, Kansas and New York; confirmed U.S. cases: 20.) and Mexico on Saturday, in what the World Health Organization called "a public health emergency of international concern." Symptoms include fever, disorientation, stiffness of the joints, vomiting, and loss of consciousness ending in death.

UPDATE: Twenty cases of swine flu have been confirmed in the United States and the White House stepped up efforts to monitor the predicted pandemic outbreak as a carefree President Barack Obama took advantage of the summer conditions in Washington on Sunday to play a round of golf.... [emphasis added]


I have to admit I'm with them on this one. When a potential major international health crisis is brewing, a good president does NOT go and play golf. No, in a crisis, everyone knows good presidents read The Pet Goat. Duh. Also: Dude, we may have a serious crisis on our hands,**** people have died, is this really the time to score cheap points off of Obama? Sorry, my mistake, "global pandemic" is doubtless one of those new liberal words.

And this is why I read conservapedia. When you can get this much craziness from just one day's reading, who needs another source? Conservapedia: For all your crazy needs!


* Worse than that, actually, since one of them is a probable parodist who range blocks entire countries for being too liberal.

** Max Weber, NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

*** New? Dude, we've been around pretty much as long as humans in general!

**** Actually, based on reports I've been hearing today, I think we may be okay. Here's hoping, anyway.

Labels: , ,

1 Comments:

Blogger LemmusLemmus said...

Admit it: You wrote that bit about the creationists dogs moving in.

Monday, April 27, 2009 11:55:00 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Site Meter