Andrew Schlafly: Modern Day Saint?
You may recall that Conservapedia has, of late, been working on "retranslating" the bible. Retranslating is, of course, too strong a term as originally they were simply re-copying the King James Version (KJV) of the bible into modern English and making "tweaks" so that the bible's true conservative message would shine through. Some of these tweaks- like the discussion about whether "damsel" should be replaced with "bimbo"- were little short of surreal. The project has been gradually evolving in the direction of a more honest effort to retranslate the bible from earlier texts, with the caveat that Schlafly is still in charge and can't actually read any of the ancient languages those texts are written in. It's a little like having your calculus homework checked by a seven-year-old. Regardless, more recently this mad endeavour has gained wide attention, receiving mention in a variety of outlets ranging from other soc blogs to the Colbert Report. Just remember, folks: before it was on Colbert, it was on Total Drek!
In any case, Schlafly loves media attention and has been making the rounds of various radio and media interviews. Some of these have proven to be funnier than others, and some have been funny less because of Schlafly and more because of the idiots interviewing him. For example, the radio show that sums up Schlafly's point in a most amusing way:
Or, in plain human speech:
Andrew Schlafly is the creator, he says his translation of the bible will fight what he calls an increasing political correctness of the good book, taking out what he calls 'gender neutral terms' that immaculate it, and also expressing the free market meaning behind the parables of Jesus. [emphasis added]
Indeed. I hate it when gender-neutral terms immaculate me. Riiiiight. Never mind that the grammar in that summary is enough to make a high school English teacher turn to drinking.
Regardless, the publicity has apparently gone to Andy's head because on today's Conservapedia frontpage appears this lovely headline:
Or, again in regular language:
Conservapedia was live on WNOX, "Knoxville's Big Talker," Tuesday morning at 7:05am ET for nearly an hour. The phone lines lit up during the show. One caller's statement: "People were guided by the Holy Spirit when they wrote the Bible." Answer: "People are guided by the Holy Spirit now too."
Right, so, to recap: caller says "the bible was inspired by god," Andy responds, "So are we!" So, in effect, Andrew Schlafly is presently claiming that he, and Conservapedia, are instruments of god. Let me say that again: Andrew Schlafly believes he is an instrument of the Lord.
All I can really say is that I can't wait to see the new translation of 1 John 4:9:
In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten
SonAndrew Schlafly into the world, that we might live through him.