Total Drek One Sentence Movie Reviews: Part Four!
Well, it's time for another episode of my largely lackluster feature wherein I rate movies using my own nebulous set of criteria. If this post makes you wonder how many movies I actually watch, rest assured: I really just dredge them up from memory when I need an easy post idea. Aren't you lucky?
30 Days of Night
Run Time: 113 minutes
Genre: Vampire/survival horror, Alaska travelogue
Once sentence review: Actually quite good, except for the critters-esque subtitling.
I AM LEGEND
Run time: 105 minutes.
Genre: Vampire/zombie survival horror.
One sentence review: This film version of Richard Matheson's novel misses the point to the same extent as an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet that ends with the titular characters escaping Verona amidst a hail of gunfire and opening a frozen yogurt stand in central Rome.*
Max Payne
Run time: 100 minutes.
Genre: Cop noir/video game movie
One sentence review: The name says it all.**
* Aside from the ending, though, it's actually a pretty good adaptation of said novel. It also has one of the most heartbreaking death scenes I've ever seen.
** Alternatively: The first time in my life that I've ever observed that the video game was actually much more compelling story-telling than the movie.
30 Days of Night
Run Time: 113 minutes
Genre: Vampire/survival horror, Alaska travelogue
Once sentence review: Actually quite good, except for the critters-esque subtitling.
I AM LEGEND
Run time: 105 minutes.
Genre: Vampire/zombie survival horror.
One sentence review: This film version of Richard Matheson's novel misses the point to the same extent as an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet that ends with the titular characters escaping Verona amidst a hail of gunfire and opening a frozen yogurt stand in central Rome.*
Max Payne
Run time: 100 minutes.
Genre: Cop noir/video game movie
One sentence review: The name says it all.**
* Aside from the ending, though, it's actually a pretty good adaptation of said novel. It also has one of the most heartbreaking death scenes I've ever seen.
** Alternatively: The first time in my life that I've ever observed that the video game was actually much more compelling story-telling than the movie.
Labels: Drek is Amused, laziness, movies
posted by Drek | 9:05 AM
4 Comments:
"It also has one of the most heartbreaking death scenes I've ever seen."
You're talking about the dyslexic G-d again, aren't you?
What else? It's not like Will Smith's exit was all that profound.
I am Legend is in my personal top ten of most annoying endings.
Kinda OT (but you ARE talking about zombie movies): This might amuse you. Or maybe not. Who knows.
I thought AI had the best ever death scene. In fact, one of the best sci-fi movies of all time.
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