Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Ironically, the earth did not move.

Recently, in response to the spate of earthquakes we've been grappling with, an Iranian cleric advanced a rather innovative theory:

Hojjat ol-eslam Kazem Sediqi, the acting Friday prayer leader in Tehran, said women should stick to strict codes of modesty to protect themselves.

"Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes," he explained.

Tens of thousands of people have died in Iran earthquakes in the last decade.

Mr Sediqi was delivering a televised sermon at the Tehran University campus mosque last Friday on the need for a "general repentance" by Iranians when he warned of a "prevalence of degeneracy".

"What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble? There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam's moral codes," he said.


Yes, that's right: earthquakes happen because of women and their boobs. Now, far be it for me to deny the power of a woman's chest, but I find this idea just a tad hard to believe. And I'm not the only one. Nor, as it turns out, am I the one with the best idea about how to tackle this ridiculous notion. Jen McCreight of Blag Hag suggested an interesting experiment she termed boobquake. The idea was simple: on a particular day, women should dress revealingly on purpose and we'd all see whether or not earthquakes spiked. And, as it happens, yesterday was that day. And indeed, boobquake did appear to be quite the event,* showing up on the blogosphere as well as in several webcomics. Alas, I learned of boobquake too late to ask my wife to participate.** Maybe next year.***

So, what were the results? Well, as you might expect... boobs do not control earthquakes. I'm sorry if I'm shattering any preconceptions but, you know, it's just one of those things.

And so science has shown that whenever a man (or woman!) says that a woman's chest is "devastating," it's only a freaking metaphor.


* And there I was thinking that Monday the 26th was just an unusually beautiful spring day.

** In the name of science you understand.

*** Hey, it could be an annual event! Sort of like Darwin Day!

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6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

So now we're celebrating Boobquake? I didn't even know we were celebrating Darwin Day, although I'm up for both. ; ) - D's S.W.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010 12:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Timo said...

To be fair he doesn't claim it's the dressing immodestly that directly causes the earthquakes. Instead the adultery that spreads through society because of the immodest dressing that causes the earthquake.

To test the theory that adultery causes earthquakes we would need a whole other kind of day. I doubt it would get the same following.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010 7:55:00 PM  
Blogger Drek said...

Timo: Yeah, I was wondering if anyone was going to spot that. This is the distinction between an ultimate and proximate cause and so I'm not that worried. I'd also point out, though, that if we're really interested in talking about adultery we should probably be focusing mostly on men since I'm willing to bet that homosexual men cheat on their partners more often than homosexual women and, therefore, adultery is mostly a male issue. But, hey, men have had the long end of the religious vilification stick for a few thousand years, so I ain't holding my breath,

Wednesday, April 28, 2010 6:28:00 AM  
Blogger scripto said...

It's not really an accurate test (but it is a good start). It does not take into account the possible acummulative factor on the earth's crust of increased boobage over an extended period of time. More testing is needed since I have it on good authority that slutty looking women can rock your world.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010 8:18:00 AM  
Blogger Marf said...

There was a minor earthquake that day in Taiwan.

Then again, there's earthquakes every day somewhere. There's usually 30-40 or so a day in Alaska alone... Some days many more (I count 62 on May 13th, for example).

Somehow I don't think my home state is the most scandalous in the country.

Saturday, May 15, 2010 1:49:00 PM  
Blogger Drek said...

Marf: Yeah, McCreight noted that one in her analysis. The key was not to ask "were there any earthquakes on boobquake" but, rather, "was there a statistically abnormal number/severity of earthquakes on boobquake". The answer to the first question is "yes," but the answer to the second is am emphatic "no."

And while it strikes me that Alaska probably isn't all that scandalous, maybe it's a relative thing? I mean, in Hawaii god doesn't blink at a few thousand string bikinis but in Alaska, maybe just a couple of one-pieces are enough to provoke his ire?

Monday, May 17, 2010 6:27:00 AM  

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