Total Drek

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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

This is just awesome.

We've gotten some awesome fantasy in theaters recently, what with the Lord of the Rings movies and so forth. But this looks to be the most fantastical movie yet:



Now, to just briefly mention a few reactions from the trailer:

  • First and foremost: this movie looks awesomely bad! I may have to watch it.

  • Note that the producers situated the story in the bustling metropolis tiny ass town of "Trapper Falls, Alaska." This allows them to side-step the challenge to self-righteousness that would emerge should the movie be set somewhere that has sizable numbers of non-Christians. For example, damned near any city.

  • The entire world does not have a shared experience at Christmas. Global Christianity has a shared experience, yes, but otherwise... not so much.

  • Does anyone else think the dude with the beard and the long hair who toasts the town seems like the town drunk? "OH, there goes old charlie, toasting the town again! He'll be puking in a gutter within the hour."

  • Villains are always pale, wear dark coats, and drive expensive cars.

  • The villainous atheist is named "Bright." My, whatever could that be an allusion to?

  • Note that the Christian protaganist beat out the mean old atheist for the girl in high school. It's like this movie was made by Conservapedia.*

  • Remember: Being inclusive is offensive. Fuck you, "Season's Greetings"!

  • Yes, atheists "Hate god" and don't want "Equal representation of religion." Right. Can we go back to the preceding scene where the protagonist was pissed that the Christian "Merry Christmas" was replaced with "Season's Greetings" and then have this conversation?

  • "So yes, I do have a problem with Christmas. And all the rest of the garbage you Christians have been jamming down my throat since I was a kid"? Who the hell talks like that? Oh, wait, I know.

  • You know, this Bright dude had people holding placards for him: perhaps there were more people in Trapper Falls who didn't like the state sponsored religious displays? Somehow, I doubt that issue will be explored.

  • Oooh! Mean atheist is mean to innocent kid. I bet he stole some candy from a baby on the way over, too!

  • "Just because god is out of vogue in the big city doesn't mean we threw him away like last summer's fashion magazine." Wicked burn! Because all atheists are effete urbanites.

  • Ah, yes, the old "Christians founded the U.S." argument. Well, sure. You know who else founded the U.S.? Slave holders. Something to keep in mind, eh?**

  • Fine, yes, Christ the lord is the reason for Christmas. Sure. And this is why we use "Season's Greetings" instead of "Merry Christmas" on public property.

  • And right, of course, the atheist converts at the end. Because the thing you have to understand is that we atheists have never had someone try to convert us. Also, we're all lonely and unhappy. Really, it's true, I saw a show about it once on TBN!



But all cheap humor aside, the thing that gets me is this: Christians have been persecuted in the past and are, right now, enduring real persecution in places like the middle east, Africa, China, and elsewhere. These people know that for practicing their faith they might be arrested, beaten, or murdered, and yet they still follow what they believe to be the right path. Note, however, that none of these things are true in the U.S., where being Christian will not get you arrested, nor beaten, nor murdered, nor oppressed in any noteworthy way. Christian churches operate in the open and advertise on billboards. Business people sometimes insert Christian symbols into their logos to reassure others that, yes, they are Christian. Our money says, "In God we Trust" on it, and our political leaders are almost always sworn in using a bible. So, to be perfectly honest, when someone plays up the need to be inclusive of all faiths as being somehow a violation of Christian rights? As though it's persecution? That's not just insulting to us non-Christians, but actually insulting to other Christians who know what persecution actually is.

But then, I'm an atheist who can't know the true meaning of Christmas so, whatever.


* I know I'm just a single data point, but I'm an atheist and am married to a brilliant, kind and generous woman. She's also a total hottie. Just sayin' is all.

** My point is not that Christian = slave holder. My point is that the characteristics of the group who started something are not, in and of themselves, an argument for how that group should behave in the future.

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6 Comments:

Blogger Practicing Idealist said...

Nice touch with Gargamel.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010 12:37:00 PM  
Blogger scripto said...

So the Christians with a capital C must have already run the Jews with a capital J out of town.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010 2:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Jonas Wisser said...

When the film started out with "In Trapper Falls, Alaska" and panned over a townscape, I thought for sure this was going to be a Twilight spinoff.

I'm not sure whether this is better or worse.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010 8:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This really does look like the worst film of all time. I think I might make a drinking game for it.

Friday, October 01, 2010 12:33:00 AM  
OpenID sassafrasjunction said...

Trapper Falls? Where you Fall into a Trap for Jesus, apparently. DO they just cover the lord and savior with leaves and hope folks trip into salvation?

Also, you know Kirk Cameron will be jerking off to this all season long. If someone does make a drinking game, it should be taking a shot every time you imagine Kirk's orgasmic climax at some particularly obtuse Christian message.

Friday, October 01, 2010 8:20:00 AM  
Blogger mig said...

I find it just as amusing that the writers apparently think that when the "bad guy" converts then the rule of law is now okay to ignore.

Wednesday, October 06, 2010 9:35:00 PM  

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