Bipartisanship

First, we learned that Jack van Impe was throwing his support to porn as a way of supporting the American way of life.

Now, it has come to my attention that certain individuals on the political left are putting their own particular shine on this idea by advocating a Masturbate for Peace platform. I am, of course, entirely serious.

Now, granted, I'm not really sure what the hell jerking off has to do with global politics. The website itself doesn't help much, suggesting, "Just masturbate in your own way, focusing your thoughts and energy towards love and peace." I might be wrong, but I rather suspect that most people aren't thinking about world peace when they're masturbating. Just a hunch.

Still, it's nice to see the left, and the right, proposing solutions to America's problems that are actually compatible. Liberal and Conservative helping hands, coming together, for the betterment of all humanity.

Such a beautiful thing.

Special thanks to the person who brought this to my attention, though I will spare them the inevitable questions that would result from their identity being released. Suffice to say if you knew them you'd be surprised, and if you knew them well you wouldn't be surprised in the slightest.