Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Fuck you, February.

Today, as you may or may not know, is the first day of February. This is no great shock, given that yesterday was the last day of January, and the entropy arrow only points in one direction.

What you probably don't know is that February is evil. I know how this sounds, which is to say completely fucking crazy, but I have a sort of anecdotal confidence in it. Contrary to the assertions of the College Roomies From Hell, I am fully convinced that February, rather than April, is in fact the cruelest month.

Why am I so confident? Well, mostly because bad things always seem to happen to me before February is over. I don't mean little bad things either, I mean frustrating, emotionally-devastating things. Alternatively, sequences of events that will culminate in emotional/psychological train-wreck seem to have a preferrence for starting in February as well. No need to go into detail on this point, save to say that February is getting an early start this year.

Last year, while playing intramural soccer with our department team, I fell and injured my shoulder. Okay, okay, fine, if you must know, while PRACTICING for intramural soccer I fell and injured my shoulder. Specifically, I sustained what is referred to as an AC Separation- Type III. Sounds cool, eh? Well, long story short, it means I tore up some ligaments in my shoulder. Treatment for this sort of injury is, and I swear this is literally how it was put to me at the time, "somewhat controversial." More accurately, it's a type of injury where if it were any more severe they would definitely operate, and if it were any less severe they definitely wouldn't operate, but is just severe enough to make the choice a real crap-shoot.

So, at the time, we decided not to operate and, 12 blissful weeks later, I regained the use of my right arm. Unfortunately, I've recently started experiencing a rather persistent pain in that shoulder that seems related to twisting the shoulder backwards. Men, imagine the motion you make to get your wallet out of your back pocket- doing that makes my shoulder scream like a butcher knife is being driven into it. Since I don't like this sensation, and it seems to be getting worse, I will be visiting my local sports medicine doctor today who is named, and once more I am completely serious here, "Dr. Paul." Yeah. Doctor FUCKING Paul. I am not reassured. With any luck, he'll at least let me keep the damn arm. With a little more luck, I won't need surgery until a few months from now when it is more convenient, and with slightly more luck, I won't need surgery at all. So, given that this is February, I think I should start practicing day-to-day tasks with my left hand.

It also doesn't help that my birthday is in February. When is it, you ask? Well, let me ask you this: given my general disposition, what day in February would be the most ironic one for my birthday to fall on? Go ahead- consult a calendar if you like.

Yep. That one. Neat, huh?

So, as a fun little activity, please take this opportunity to speculate in the comments section about what misfortunes will befall me during this month. You won't get anything if you guess right, except maybe the sick, twisted joy of having predicted my doom accurately.



Blogger Hazel said...

at least i've got you beat in the academic portion of the how-much-ass-does-february-suck contest. today my advisor told me that the models that we've been working on for 11 months now just aren't gonna work, and that i should start over on my thesis. oh, and i have to defend by april as i'm leaving grad school after this semester. tomorrow the groundhog will see his shadow, fucking wisconsin will get six more weeks of fucking winter, and i will begin the whole thesis thing anew. two and a half months is plenty of time for lit reviews and data cleaning and model building and paper writing, right? right??

Tuesday, February 01, 2005 7:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

February is evil. I know how this sounds, which is to say completely fucking crazy . . . No, you're absolutely right. February IS evil. Nothing but trouble. Fuck February.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005 9:48:00 PM  
Blogger Drek said...

Hazel: Oh yeah, that blows. Anything I can do to help? I know a guy who might be willing to put a hit out on your advisor.

Anonymous: Shit, do I know you? I could swear I've seen that speech-cadence before.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005 9:56:00 AM  
Blogger Brayden said...

Drek - Are you posting anonymously to your own site?

Wednesday, February 02, 2005 3:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drek: Shit, do I know you?Sounds like an epistemological problem to me.

Saturday, February 05, 2005 12:05:00 AM  

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