Foreign Correspondent! (Oma is niet hier)

A while back, Drek wrote a silly post describing the saintedness of His Sainted Girlfriend by somehow comparing her to a recording from his basic German course in high school. So in that tradition, I will introduce our new Total Drek European Correspondent with the Dutch version of the very same lesson:

Oma is niet hier. Oma is niet hier. Oma is niet hier? Ja, oma is niet hier.

Actually, my grandmother is not here, but that's not the point. The point is that Dutch is a very fun language. The vocabulary is like a mix of German and English, but the grammar is very German. So, for example, you have sentences like this:

We willen dit jaar ons huis verven.
We want to paint our house this year.

Ik moet morgen de hele dag werken.
I have to work the whole day tomorrow.

But the best part of Dutch is the profanity. It's so wonderfully complex and amusing. Why call someone an asshole when you can call them a "mierenneuker" (ant fucker) or a "reetkever" (ass beetle) or a "kind van 3 homo's" (child of 3 gay men)? Why tell someone to fuck off when you can tell them to "eet pinguin poep, jij kontgraver" (eat penguin shit, you ass-digger)?

I can't believe I just wasted a whole paragraph talking about Dutch profanity. What is this, 6th grade? No, don't answer that.

The point of all this is to announce the first ever Total Drek European Correspondent, who will make her first post under my name tomorrow. She is, of course, my Hot Belgian Girlfriend. (I feel rather shallow describing her as "hot" when Drek describes his girlfriend as sainted, but I can assure you that my girlfriend is also sainted - but still hot.)

So, check this space tomorrow for a Total Drek perspective from a Belgian expatriate in Budapest, Hungary. In the meantime, as the Dutch-speaking Belgians would say,

Mijn vriendin is meer sexier, meer intelligenter, en meer aardiger dan uw, of enig vrouw in allen het heelal. En zij ga morgen in Total Drek schrijven.