Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

In which we enjoy the return, however brief, of the Hypothetical Roommate

The Scene: Drek the Uninteresting and his Hypothetical Roommate (HyRo) are departing from the Fry's supermarket near Drek's apartment. This Fry's is, charmingly enough, referred to as the "Ghetto Fry's" for reasons that should not elude anyone who possesses more than three functional neurons. For those who are also interested, HyRo is not so much my hypothetical roommate, as my former hypothetical roommate who has access to a free storage unit in the form of my second bedroom until such time as he gets the rest of his shit out, I throw it out, or he starts paying storage fees. It is, however, much easier to type "HyRo" than "FHRwhAtaFSUitFomSBustahgtrohSO,ITio,ohSPSF."

HyRo: So the Fry's over where we live now is a Ghetto Fry's as well.

Drek: Oh, yeah?

HyRo: Yeah. We got this meat the other day? It was good for about a day and then it just got nasty all of a sudden. Just... UGH!

Drek: Well, that doesn't speak very well of its quality to start with.

HyRo: No. No, it doesn't. We've also got one of those... Wal-Mart Marketplaces. You know, the Wal-Marts that are just grocery stores?

Drek: Yeah, I got a mailing about that place. Which I promptly threw away.

HyRo: Well everything there looks good, and looks fresh, except the meat. The meat is just... SHINY. There's just this sheen to it.

Drek: Shiny? That's a little... odd. Meat generally isn't supposed to be shiny unless you've just cut it off of the animal.

HyRo: Or it's a really greasy cut of fish.

Drek: Right, yeah, or that.

HyRo: It's like... it's like they packed it in olive oil or something.

Drek: Okay, that's a problem on several levels. First, while olive oil is great and all, it really doesn't help with some recipes. I'd be pretty pissed if I always had to scrape olive oil off of my meat before I could cook it. Second, you've really gotta ask yourself WHY? Why is it necessary to pack the meat in olive oil? What purpose does that serve?

HyRo: I was wondering the same thing, but then I started thinking and it occurred to me- maybe the guys that run the place just know that the kind of people who usually shop at Wal-Mart just LIKE shiny things.

Drek: laughs

Drek: Well hell, I know I do!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shiny things are ALWAYS the best kind! Thanks guys for making me laugh. : )

Thursday, July 28, 2005 8:38:00 AM  

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