Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Kids Students say write the darndest weirdest things.

As regular readers of this blog know, I rather enjoy teaching. I like the interaction with undergrads, I enjoy guiding discussions, and I love seeing students grasp new concepts. While I wouldn't say that teaching is my main love (research is, after all, quite alluring) it is something I like. Moreover, it seems that I have reason to believe that I am somewhat good at teaching. This may be somewhat shocking to y'all, but I find it reassuring.

In any case, despite my enjoyment of my students they still, from time to time, rather surprise me with some of the things they write. This experience is also shared by my officemates, who have noticed some rather fascinating statements over the years. So, today, we're going to share some of those statements with all of you, and the comments we would have liked to have written in response. Hopefully this will be amusing but, if not, what did you expect? This is a blog, and you get what you pay for.

"He tries to prove that the extinction of mammoths and other megafunds was caused by Earth's crustal displacement."

While Tom might disagree with me, I'm pretty sure Mammoths were not a form of financial planning.

"Foe example..."

Look, I know I'm from the South, but I do know how to spell.

"Collaboration is important because it helps scientists to reach a conclusion with ease."

You've obviously never met my co-authors.

"Negativism is the opposite of positivism."

Well, it's hard to argue with that.

"This is a huge concern for scientists because if a scientist only chooses to sue certain findings..."

Legal action is certainly an innovative approach, but I doubt it will really help.

"I would not trust the result of this even if the big man above himself told me to."

That's an interesting epistemological stance you've got there.

" could hypostulate that this relationship could be contingent on other factors..."

Sadly, "hypostulate" isn't a word, but keep trying, Mr. President.

" too the fact..."

I just wish they'd spelled it "FAQ't."

"...a violently gruesome demise."

Well, that does indeed sound rather unpleasant.

"I play the game Halo 2 a lot more that I probably should, and as a result, my room has suffered quite a bit of damage."

I don't understand- is the game real for you or something? Because we have a term for that.

"Gender would be considered the control variable because it is the variable in the relationship that is constant."

We need to go over what a "variable" is again, don't we?

"An example of intervention/interpretation would be marring an affectionate husband causes bad grades.


I have a husband who needs constant attention and doesn't understand that I have to study and the affect of this is poor grades. I love my husband, but highly recommend putting marriage or any serious relationship on hold until you have completed ALL of your education. In fact if you want any good grade don't date at all."

I don't think I've ever been this uncomfortable reading a student paper before in my life. Thank you for not providing detail as to what sort of attention your husband requires.

Ah, students- what would we do without them?


Blogger Tom Bozzo said...

"Mammoths and other megafunds," eh? Consider me baffled.

I can't remember if I've told this story before, sorry if I have. The cake from my grad school days, when one of my housemates was an English Lit PhD student who taught freshman writing, was taken by a paper all about "Arnold Schwagenegger" which, I shit you not, did not have one complete sentence without a grammar or spelling error (not even counting "Schwagenegger"). We needled my housemate endlessly for giving the paper a D -- grade inflation!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005 12:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My personal favorite, which Drek has heard before..."All girls love jewelry. That's a fact." -D's SGf

Wednesday, November 09, 2005 1:28:00 PM  

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