Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Friday, January 13, 2006

More Crap Wisdom from Students

Some of you may remember a while back when I posted on some of the things my students write. Well, in honor of the impending semester, please enjoy this additional installment of absurdity from the most highly educated 25% or so of the population. Afterwards, feel free to quake in fear. These quotes were culled from papers and tests read by several grad students in my department and not necessarily from my own dear learners. Regardless of source, however, these are all genuine quotes.

"This survey is relatively cheap and easy (like my Ex)..."

Way too much information my friend. Really.

"Using the census is a great way to get information."

I like short, declarative sentences! See Spot run! Run, Spot, run!

"The findings in this article are not entirely defendable, as demonstrated through the advantages and disadvantages of the methods, but the scapegoat for the researchers in is the fact that it is the fist of its kind (concerning the death penalty) to use both qualitative and quantitative analysis, and therefore it requires new, untested methods for analyzing its data."

I don't even know where to begin. You've actually rendered me speechless. Bravo.

"This study also touches base on whether or not the perceiver's age is affected by the color bias."

Well, that would be a neat trick. Next see if their sex is affected by their political leanings.

"They defined it as autonomous of concepts such as culture and homogony which have been used to explain participant mobilization in the past."

If you can explain to me what that sentence means, you'll get an A on the spot.

"Finally, discourse strategies were used to achieve the meanings of ideological sentences in the writings which are known as indexical expressions."

You're a philosophy major, aren't you?

"Don't sample every sample."

'Cause we're too le-git, too legit to quit! Hey hey!

"R-squared for this analysis would be 12, which is the number of times that the regression analysis occurs in a given analysis."

I'll grant it tends to feel that way when I'm writing programs, but still...

"First your methods must be approved by the Human Committee Board."

The "Human Committee Board?" That is one helluva lot of red tape.

"However, on the positive side, altering the data could prove a theory."

You're making baby Jesus cry.


Blogger TDEC said...

Yes, I know, people write these things - but it is a bit of a cheap shot anyway. Can you honestly say that you've never written something stupid while you were under time pressure, stressed and lacking two nights of sleep? It's bad enough writing something like that without the person grading you poking fun of you in public as well.

Friday, January 13, 2006 12:05:00 PM  
Blogger Brayden said...

I highly approve of poking fun of them in public. I needed the laugh. Thanks Drek.

Friday, January 13, 2006 1:55:00 PM  
Blogger Drek said...

Well, I certainly see your point. Obviously, I've said some pretty ridiculous things while under time pressure. On the other hand, quite a number of these things came from folks who WEREN'T under time pressure. To be honest, the ones that are clearly the result of time pressure I find more genuinely amusing than anything else. Still, I'll go get rid of any that were made under time pressure.

If it makes you feel better, their comments about us are usually quite a bit more... public and, similarly, rather more pointed.

But, hey, if folks think it was over the line, I'm willing to take it down.

Friday, January 13, 2006 3:35:00 PM  
Blogger TDEC said...

Nah, don't be silly, don't take it down...I just wanted to make the point. Kind of shocked at the professor rating thing actually. I always forget how much more vocal American students are. It puts thing into perspective, although you are still the one with, er, the power.

Monday, January 16, 2006 1:55:00 AM  

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