Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Because you asked for it.

Some of you may remember a while back when the TDEC wrote a little post describing her ten celebrity crushes. This post was followed shortly thereafter by a post from her fiancee, Slag, which followed up by providing his seven (later eight) celebrity crushes. These posts generated a remarkable amount of fun and excitement for all of us, and led a number of people to ask what my list might look like. More importantly, it caused my Sainted Girlfriend to ask, and to try to worm such information out of me with her customary subtlety. I was reluctant to reveal my celebrity lusts for a number of reasons, most of which I've already elaborated on, but partly also because it just seemed needlessly self-absorbed.

But, hey, I figured I'd give folks an option, and held a vote on the matter. Well, as it happens the results are in and, clearly, y'all want to know. Of the 21 people who voted, 14 were for "yes, tell us," and only 4 were for "no, don't tell us." There were also three people who seemed to want more porn and/or posts about boobs, so I imagine I'll only be partly serving their needs. So, having assured myself that my loyal readers want it, and that my Sainted Girlfriend has largely forgotten about the whole thing by now, I guess I'll present my celebrity lusts. These appear in no particular order of which I am aware. I suppose there might be a cunning plan that is really producing the order but, if so, it is a product of my frenzied subconscious and I, therefore, assume no responsibility for it.


(1) Meredith Monroe

Some of you may remember Meredith as Andie McPhee, from the popular series Dawson's Creek. She played a high-achieving, rather neurotic, but well-intentioned young woman. She also went totally buggo at one point in the series, but let's try and ignore that. At the time she was on the show, I was a regular watcher along with a very close friend of mine. This was not so much because we liked the show, as because we desperately needed a way to shut our brains off and ignore the myriad disasters we were a part of. Anyway, I just really liked the Andie character and find Ms. Monroe to have a curious grace and lightness of expression, despite the fact that in the above picture she looks a bit like she has man-shoulders.

(2) Lisa Loeb

Hey, who doesn't love a quasi-sarcastic musician with funky glasses? Partly I like Lisa Loeb's music, and partly I just think the glasses are dead-sexy. I'm one of those dreadful holdouts who refuses to wear contacts despite poor vision, so I appreciate it when someone else does likewise. Of course, there are the persistent rumors that the glasses are an affectation, but people say the same thing about me. Fashion magazines can be so cruel.

(3) Janel Moloney

Most of you probably recognize Janel Moloney as Donna Moss, from The West Wing. There she plays a seemingly-frivolous, quirky personal assistant. However, despite these appearances, fans of the series realize that she's both intelligent and capable of getting things done. I like people who get shit done. I also like women with nice legs. You do the math. Besides: she volunteered for the Kerry campaign. How can you not like that?

(4) Eliza Dushku

Many of you may remember her as the character Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There she played a semi-sociopathic super-powered woman. This is, all by itself, a fascinating thing, even leaving aside the fact that she's quite attractive. Sadly, so far her film/t.v. roles have mostly fallen into the "female badass," "horror movie victim," and "tough girl who is really sweet" stereotypes. I keep hoping she'll get a role with a little more maturity but, hey, failing that, I'll take the bikini. Believe it or not, though, Dushku has a charitable foundation and one of the most godawful websites I've ever seen, so she must have some sort of personality. Whatever that means.

Moving on...

(5) Helen Slater

Hey! I don't have to explain my choices to you people! I will, however, say that I liked her a great deal more in some movies than in others.

(6) Anne Hathaway

Okay, folks, I'll be honest: there's really nothing to this one aside from simple, straightforward lust. Isn't that enough of a reason? Regardless, in addition to acting, Anne Hathaway has been a top-ranked soprano in New York, and has attended Vassar and NYU... so at least my lust tends to be for relatively talented folks. I suspect she's also somewhat liberal.

And last, but not least...

(7) Alyson Hannigan

On this point, I have to agree with my colleague, Slag: Alyson Hannigan is definitely hot. At least partly, though, this is because she's one of the weirdest actors in hollywood now- and I mean that in a fun way. Between roles in American Pie, as the bizarrely perverse band geek (and who didn't know them in high school?), and Date Movie, I think she has to have a sense of humor, and an odd one at that. Given that I think Top Secret! is one of the funniest movies ever made, you can see the appeal.

And so, there you have it. Would I leave my Sainted Girlfriend for one of these women? Of course not. My appreciation for my Sainted Girlfriend stems from my knowledge of her as a good and interesting person- not to mention the fact that she's a total hottie:

As fun as it can be to admire celebrities, they simply cannot compare with reality. While fantasy can be a lot of fun, and is safe because the chance of rejection is slim, a fantasy cannot talk to you, comfort you when you're feeling sad, or wake up next to you in the morning. Fantasy is nice because it is easy, but nothing truly worth having comes easily. Maybe I'm crazy, but I'd rather have the hard reality, than the easy, but unfulfilling, fantasy.

Now go away. I have work to do.

As a side note, I just want to mention what an absolute pain in the ass Blogger's picture feature has been lately. I don't know what's up with that, but it's making me nutty. Okay, sorry, more nutty than usual.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


Friday, March 24, 2006 8:39:00 PM  
Blogger TDEC said...

MoosehaHA! At last. I am terribly pleased that you put this up, it is most entertaining. Moreover I commend your good taste. Especially in the cases of Ms. Monroe, Ms. Hannigan and yes, glasses. Glasses are terribly cute and sexy.

Oh, and I am horrified that you watched Dawson's Creek, the most godawful evil depressing teenage series of all time. If it weren't for The Rules of Attraction James Vanderbeek would have to be locked up or exported to some remote island just to make sure he never did it again. *shudder*

Saturday, March 25, 2006 2:25:00 PM  
Blogger TDEC said...

Btw, Top Secret! is great! I love Top Secret!

Saturday, March 25, 2006 3:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awfully WASPish, no?

Act locally, fantasize globally.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006 5:09:00 PM  
Blogger Drek said...

Awfully WASPish, no?

Hey, WASPs need lovin too.

Besides, I swear to all of you, I have no intentions of taking any crap about my absurd little fantasies. Don't like my picks? Make your own list.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006 9:25:00 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Top Secret IS the funniest movie of all time. Best film of Val Kilmer's career, to be sure - though I did like the line about pounding a railroad spike through a 2x4 with his penis in Real Genius (though he didn't deliver the line)...

Thursday, July 12, 2007 6:01:00 AM  

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