"Hey, tina! How was the Radiohead show?"

How nice of you to ask! It was awesome. Even though it was a fancy concert hall with cushy seats, as soon as they stepped on stage everyone stood up for the whole show. I don't know how you could sit down. They played lots of new stuff, and it sounds like the next album is going to be really good.

"And did the lesbian babysitter harm your child?"

No indeed. The little tot was safe and sound, having taken one more wee step toward understanding that even when mom and dad have a night out, they always come home and everything is okay.