Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Well that's... nice.

As most of you know already I am presently engaged and will be marrying my appropriately-named Sainted Fiancee in about a year or so. This means that we are already in the midst of the delightful quagmire of wedding planning. In some ways this is really fun, as we get to try and find a decent place to make our wedding cake. In other ways it's a pestilence upon our lives since we have to bring together two large families from two totally different parts of the country while remaining within our budget.

In the process of all this planning we've started to look at websites for florists, caterers, and so on. Often this is a very interesting experience- less for what these people say and more for what their sites seem to inadvertently reveal. Thus, for someone like me* this process is a bounty of unintended entertainment. For example, take this picture of a lovely bride:

Now I don't want to be mean** but what the hell is with her neck? I mean look at the length of that sucker! It's like someone mixed her genes with an ostrich! I know some people like that kind of thing but to me it just looks a little freakish.

Then, check out this offering from a florist:

Maybe I'm a traditionalist, but is a flower bikini really an appropriate fashion choice for a wedding? Come to think of it, is there ever a time when a bikini made of flowers is an appropriate choice? I really can't think of one off of the top of my head.

And then there's this:

I can actually hear what this bride is saying to her friend: "Gosh! I am so glad I decided to get married in 1987 instead of that icky 21st century! Also: We are so gay!" I'm just saying that when the picture you're using to advertise your floral services is obviously older than the medium you're using for advertising, you may have a problem.

Fortunately for me there are other people who find weddings as humorous as I do. I refer, of course, to Ugly Dress a website devoted to bridesmaids and the horrible offenses to fashion that they have to wear. Some of the "winners" include the 70's wallpaper dress, the fuscia horror, and whatever the hell it is that this woman is wearing. There's also a nice assortment of wedding cake debacles, including the cake made entirely out of Hostess products. Seriously.

Take a look, laugh a little, and reminisce about when you got married. Or, if you haven't gotten married yet, look forward to it with a heavy heart. Either way, I'm satisfied.

* i.e. a total asshole.

** As a side note, this statement almost always precedes my actually being unnecessarily mean.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very nice pictures. Very aesthetic. Toner

Saturday, December 02, 2006 9:15:00 PM  

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