Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

A different take...

A lot of folks are talking about the Republican presidential candidates lately, which is only natural since, if the Democrats nominate Hillary, I'm pretty sure one of them is going to end up President. For the most part I think we could more or less accurately describe the Republican candidates as a backward group of ignorant hicks, with the occasional person who is pretending to be a backward, ignorant hick. Truly a magnificent collection of Americans. I am, as you might guess, not as yet pleased with the electoral prospects.

One possible Republican nominee who is getting a lot of attention is lawyer, former senator, and character actor Fred Thompson.* Thompson is what we might call the "Law & Order" candidate** and would certainly cut a dashing figure as president- something that would be an enormous shock to us all after eight years with George W. Bush. He might not even be that bad,*** all things considered, since he's more of a pre-watergate fiscal conservative rather than a post-watergate "Verily did the Lord say to strike down mine enemies for they favor a progressive tax system" conservative. Of course, none of this will matter unless Thompson decides to offically enter the race.

As always the good old interblag is humming with discussion about Thompson but, frankly, the topic that seems to be getting the most attention is Thompson's wife, Jeri Thompson. As befits a blog that is obsessed with boobs, I figured I should hop on this particular band wagon. Jeri Thompson is 25 years younger than Fred Thompson, which means that she would, almost certainly, end up the hottest first lady ever. Of course, that may not be saying much. Let's consider some past First Ladies**** for comparison. There's Martha Washington:

And, of course, Mary Todd Lincoln:

Ladybird Johnson:

Nancy Reagan:*****

And of course, Barbara Bush:

To this rogues gallery****** we now consider adding Jeri Thompson who seems to be a little out of place:

Some folks aren't reacting all that well to this prospect. Joe Scarborough, for instance, pondered whether or not she "works the pole," meaning "is she a stripper." It is, of course, nice to see that political debate occurs at such a high level in this country. I mean, honestly, who the hell cares? I have absolutely no interest in discussing whether or not she's too attractive to be first lady, or too young, or any other moronic aspect of her personal appearance. The aesthetic qualities of Fred Thompson's wife have absolutely no bearing on his qualifications to be president or, indeed, on her own qualifications to do any job she damned well pleases. To imply otherwise is damaging for our society in general and women in particular. So, rather than say anything more about her appearance, I just want to ask a serious question:

Holy fucking shit, where the hell are her feet?!

I mean, what the hell, is she some sort of hover-equipped femme-bot or something? Is she a ghost? Is she a ghost of a robot?

I don't want to be alarmist, but this may well be the beginning of a computer-led coup and I think the American People deserve serious answers to some hard questions: like why the hell doesn't Jeri Thompson have feet?

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is about as far as I'm prepared to go to set up a really stupid joke.

* Or, if you prefer, see the much shorter and less informative conservapedia article.

** One can only hope that his addresses to the nation would begin with that bum-BUM sound effect we've all grown to know and love.

*** Note that this is not an endorsement- I have no idea, really, what his stance is on most issues and, so, have no solid clue how good or bad he might be for the country.

**** Please be aware that there is no rhyme or reason to which first ladies I elected to pick on.

***** As a side issue, when I was much younger, I don't think I was ever quite convinced that Nancy Reagan and Margaret Thatcher were really different people. I thought it was like how Superman puts on glasses and amazingly transforms into Clark Kent or something.

****** It's really been a while since I've had a post consisting mainly of pictures of women, hasn't it?

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Blogger Unknown said...

this post made me involuntarily eject snot onto my keyboard.

Thursday, June 07, 2007 12:56:00 PM  
Blogger Drek said...

Well, just so long as it was involuntary...

Thursday, June 07, 2007 12:59:00 PM  

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