Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Monday, May 18, 2009

I can only describe myself as bemused.

As my Former Hypothetical Roommate was fond of observing, there are few sexual perversions of which I am unaware. This is not because I am a raging sexual deviant so much as because of a job I had before graduate school. This job, which I have mentioned before, was horrible. And part of its horror was our IT guy, who would alleviate his own boredom by "sharing" things with me that he found on the internet.* It didn't really matter if I wanted him to share or not either as he could take control of my computer via the network pretty much at will. So, thanks to him, I was well-schooled in all manner of fetish and kink, over time becoming more or less immune to it.**

I should probably also point out that while I don't personally have any interest in most kinks- and particularly not in the ones that involve some sort of pain- I don't really have an ethical issue with consenting adults doing what makes them happy. I want to live my life my way, so other people should be free to live theirs however they choose, so long as it doesn't put the rest of us at risk. As such, while I don't have any interest in practicing it, the idea of a variety of things including polygamy and polyandry don't really get my undies in a bunch.***

All that said, this past weekend I found myself entering the search term "Domestic Discipline" into google in response to a rather weird banner ad I saw on Something Awful.**** And the first hit on google was nothing if not interesting:

How could I not be even more intrigued? So, I hit the link and ended up here:

For those who don't want to view a larger version of the image, the text at the bottom reads:

***This website contains themes pertaining to spanking and may be suitable only for adults. Please do not enter if you are under 18 years of age or if spanking offends you.***

So, this is a website about spanking. Christian spanking. And, before you ask, no, they don't mean kids. From their section on "What is CDD":

A Domestic Discipline (DD) marriage is one in which one partner is given authority over the other, and has the means to back up that authority, usually by spanking. The application and practise of DD in each marriage is as unique as the individuals who make up that marriage. There is no "One Ring of Power" in the Domestic Discipline world, to which all DD couples must bow; no singular path to "true DD enlightenment". What works well for one DD couple may not be a good fit for another marriage. Therefore, you may see many different suggestions espoused on this site and elsewhere.

A Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) marriage is simply a traditional, male-led, Christian marriage which utilises aspects of Domestic Discipline. It is set up according to Biblical standards.

Therefore, in a CDD marriage, the husband is the authority of the household.
The wife is submissive to her husband as if the Lord Himself was her husband.

The husband is to love his wife as himself, and as Christ loved the church. He is to be a servant, and leads by example. He is to lay down his life for her.
The wife is to reverence her husband. She is to obey him, so long as his instructions are not in opposition to God's commands.

He has the ultimate authority in his household, but this authority is tempered with the knowledge that he will answer to God for his actions and decisions. The final decision rests with him, and therefore, the final responsibility, whatever the outcome, is his to bear. A wise husband will not make a major decision without prayerfully asking God for wisdom, and without seeking his wife's counsel.

He is to be the head of the home. She is to be the heart of the home.

He is not a dictator. She is not a doormat.

He is not a overbearing Lord of the Estate, seeking to trample over his family. She is not some weak-minded lass, needing to be molly-coddled, or seeking to get straightened around.

He has the responsibility for leading his family and is accountable before God for their well-being and development. He has the authority to spank his wife for disciplinary reasons, but in real CDD marriages, this authority is taken quite seriously and usually happens rarely. Most CDD marriages do use spanking, generally for serious offences, such as the "Four D's" (Disobedience, Disrespect, Dishonesty, or Dangerous [as in dangerous choices... reckless driving, disobeying doctor's orders, etc]). Some CDD marriages also use non-corporal disciplines, such as writing lines, or the temporary forfeiture of a favourite privilege. Again, every marriage is unique, and CDD is much more than just corporal punishment or spanking. [emphasis added]

So, a CDD marriage is one in which the man spanks the woman. For Christ. For those who are curious, there's a section for men, a section for women and even a helpful group of articles that includes a very educational F.A.Q. Thanks to the F.A.Q., I now understand what "bratting" is:*****

4. What is "bratting" and why does is happen?
The term "bratting" is used to describe a woman who is deliberately misbehaving in order to receive a spanking. Bratting is, of course, completely inconsistent with a CDD marriage as it is not only sinning against your husband but sinning against God. However, it does happen and I believe it is because many women have a deep seated need to "feel" their husband's authority on a regular basis.

I do NOT brat, but I do have a need to regularly feel that control. I think it is a security issue for me. I know I am not a very self-controlled person and I love knowing he is looking out for me and keeping me on track. Fortunately, there are other ways to feel your husband's authority without the destructive practice of true bratting. We use play spanking in response to play bratting, but many couples who need a more "real" feel to it use maintenance discipline to take care of this need. [emphasis original]

Now, all kidding aside, I don't want to sound like I think these people are sick or wrong or something. I don't. It isn't how I would want to live, it isn't the sort of marriage I have with my wife, but if it works for these folks and makes them happy, then great. I think what I find so interesting is that here we have the intersection of what some people seem to want to do for their own reasons, and what their religion says. And they have managed to find a way to make those things mesh. Do I wish CDD maybe allowed some room for men to be spanked? Sure I do. I have to assume some of these guys would enjoy a good swat on the tush now and then. Still, to the extent that everyone involved here is acting of their own volition, I think it's pretty cool.

But, in perfect honestly, the idea that god wants me to spank my wife strikes me as more than a little funny.

* In all fairness, I should probably observe that if it weren't for this guy I think I might have bludgeoned by boss to death. I should also note that what sparked this off was my allowing him to blunder into a full understanding of our boss' crippling porn addiction and the ensuing difficulties that posed to our running a professional office.

** Friends of mine in graduate school have learned, as a consequence, that when I say, "Hey, you've gotta come see this thing I found on the internet," the correct answer is almost always "No, I don't."

*** Keep in kind, however, that "consenting adults" doesn't mean "a forty year-old man and two girls in their early teens." Yes, I'm looking at you wacky polygamist cults.

**** I looked it up because the ad seemed to be advocating giving a wife or female child a black eye if she disobeyed your masculine-highness. This, as you might guess, made me curious in an unsympathetic kind of way. I don't really care for the masculists and sure as hell don't condone domestic abuse.

***** I had never heard this term before in my life and frankly doubt I will ever find an occasion when I will need to use it.

As a final side note: I am aware that the first two paragraphs of this post are unintentionally hysterical. That said, given that I am aware and have chosen to leave them as-is, I think that makes them intentionally funny, no?

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