Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Total Drek One Sentence Movie Reviews: Part Four!

Well, it's time for another episode of my largely lackluster feature wherein I rate movies using my own nebulous set of criteria. If this post makes you wonder how many movies I actually watch, rest assured: I really just dredge them up from memory when I need an easy post idea. Aren't you lucky?

30 Days of Night

Run Time: 113 minutes

Genre: Vampire/survival horror, Alaska travelogue

Once sentence review: Actually quite good, except for the critters-esque subtitling.


Run time: 105 minutes.

Genre: Vampire/zombie survival horror.

One sentence review: This film version of Richard Matheson's novel misses the point to the same extent as an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet that ends with the titular characters escaping Verona amidst a hail of gunfire and opening a frozen yogurt stand in central Rome.*

Max Payne

Run time: 100 minutes.

Genre: Cop noir/video game movie

One sentence review: The name says it all.**

* Aside from the ending, though, it's actually a pretty good adaptation of said novel. It also has one of the most heartbreaking death scenes I've ever seen.

** Alternatively: The first time in my life that I've ever observed that the video game was actually much more compelling story-telling than the movie.

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Blogger Ken Houghton said...

"It also has one of the most heartbreaking death scenes I've ever seen."

You're talking about the dyslexic G-d again, aren't you?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009 10:27:00 AM  
Blogger Drek said...

What else? It's not like Will Smith's exit was all that profound.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009 10:30:00 AM  
Blogger JLT said...

I am Legend is in my personal top ten of most annoying endings.

Kinda OT (but you ARE talking about zombie movies): This might amuse you. Or maybe not. Who knows.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009 2:16:00 PM  
Blogger scripto said...

I thought AI had the best ever death scene. In fact, one of the best sci-fi movies of all time.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009 8:37:00 AM  

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