Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

An alternate reality.

In lieu of an actual blog post today, please enjoy this video of a woman giving birth in a pool with a dolphin:

Why is she giving birth with a dolphin, you ask? I don't really know but tried pretty hard to find out. The best I can do is tell you that the video apparently comes from a French film named Le Premiere Cri, or "the first cry." I do not, however, speak French, and so the amount of information I was able to glean is pretty limited. But, given that the director of the film allegedly slanted it towards "natural" child birth, I'm guessing that has something to do with it. No doubt this video harks back to the dawn of time when life was more natural and women, as they approached labor, would naturally migrate to the ocean where they would give birth with the assistance of wise cetaceans. Sadly, that assistance wasn't particularly useful since cetaceans lack both human language and thumbs, but they meant well. Also sadly, that depiction makes humans sound like amphibians but, hey, there you go.

I don't have a problem with someone who wants to give birth underwater. I do think that the forced involvement of a dolphin* is a bit objectionable, but I doubt anyone is going to listed to me in that regard. Hell, the Great Ape Project has a hard enough time as it is, and they're at least working with our fellow primates. Mostly, I just have a hard time coming to grips with the various things that are considered "natural" by people. The adjective "natural" as applied to birth specifically and medicine in general has increasingly become the battered spouse of the grammar world. It's abused, and abused, and abused, stretched to cover all kinds of things that are exceedingly unnatural, and yet it always seems to stick around.

C'mon, natural- even once is too much. The first time you're abused in a sentence, you need to just leave. We're all here for you- just get out.**

* People, seriously. They're smart frickin animals and to the best of my knowledge no dolphin has ever expressed a desire to supervise a human birth. How would you feel if you were abducted by some bizarre looking alien species and dumped into a tank with one of them while they expelled their young? Hell, unlike the dolphin, I somehow doubt the average human in such a situation would manage to behave with polite interest.

** Note here that I am most certainly not mocking domestic violence, which I take very seriously. It's just a convenient metaphor.

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Blogger scripto said...

What do you want - a shark? Oh, Happy Bloggoversity.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 10:49:00 AM  
Blogger LemmusLemmus said...

Is it just me or does the birth look a bit doctored? The baby just seems to pop out, no convulsions, no pain. A little like in The Meaning of Life.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 11:58:00 AM  
Anonymous Jay said...

Um... Aren't dolphins carnivores?

That could have gone badly. Hilariously, but badly.

Thursday, July 01, 2010 4:50:00 PM  

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