I just can't stop laughing.
Watch this and see if you don't have the same reaction:
How can you not love that? I mean, it's warning us all that the forces of evil are coming but goddamn do they sound upbeat and excited about it! Then we have the two "hosts" staring intently at... what? Computer printouts? Mainframes? It's as though they want us to believe that they have some sophisticated computational model that tells them that a Wicca-front is blowing in from the Pacific northwest. And the handy bible prophecy card? Priceless! A pitch to an unbeliever will probably not be aided by the realization that your entire theology can be fit on a 3x5" card that can fit in a wallet.*
Act now and they'll throw in the bible prophecy card, the no-stick oven mitts, and the Showtime Rotisserie Oven for the low, low price of $129.99! WOW!
* And after reading Left Behind, I'm not sure that joke is just hyperbole, either.
How can you not love that? I mean, it's warning us all that the forces of evil are coming but goddamn do they sound upbeat and excited about it! Then we have the two "hosts" staring intently at... what? Computer printouts? Mainframes? It's as though they want us to believe that they have some sophisticated computational model that tells them that a Wicca-front is blowing in from the Pacific northwest. And the handy bible prophecy card? Priceless! A pitch to an unbeliever will probably not be aided by the realization that your entire theology can be fit on a 3x5" card that can fit in a wallet.*
Act now and they'll throw in the bible prophecy card, the no-stick oven mitts, and the Showtime Rotisserie Oven for the low, low price of $129.99! WOW!
* And after reading Left Behind, I'm not sure that joke is just hyperbole, either.
Labels: atheism, Drek is Amused, religion, YouTube
posted by Drek | 9:04 AM
4 Comments:
I'm having a little trouble with the "Clinton + globalization" argument. Can you translate from freakobabble for me?
Well, you're generous to refer to it as an argument but it more or less goes like this:
Certain brands of Christianity read the Book of Revelation, along with certain other seemingly unrelated sections of the bible (see dispensationalism), as providing a prophetic roadmap for the future. In this future (as quasi-illustrated* in Left Behind) a false prophet known as the anti-christ will unify the world into a global super state by claiming to bring peace. This is taken to mean that true Christians should oppose efforts to cooperate globally as well as efforts to bring peace, because those activities are likely to aid the anti-christ and therefore further his evil plans. So, in short, division and war are Christian while peace and harmony are evil.
And, as long as we're on the subject, it disturbs me deeply that I'm wasting brain power on such self-defeating nonsense.
* I say "quasi-illustrated" because that book's motto was, "Tell not show."
These hyped-up Christians need to quit running around acting all persecuted. You want to see persecuted, assholes, I have a colloseum in Rome to show you. Oh, and ovens in Dachau. I call Asshat.
I see that haircut technology, as well as computer technology, has made incredible advances in the last 20 years. I like the dot matrix confirmation of pareidolia. Those guys must be on to something.
deedeedadeedee...deedeedadeedee
Send to all units.Stop.Satan's minions rampant on earth. Stop. Alert all units. Stop. Prepare to engage the Dark One. Stop.
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