Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

I just don't even begin to comprehend this.

Longtime readers of this blog know that, from time to time, I run across pretty weird shit on the internet.* Likewise, longtime readers know that I keep tabs on religious news online. What you may not realize is that, from time to time, these two interests collide in what can only be described as a hurricane of whatthefuckery. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one of those times. Please allow me to introduce you to: Ubuntu Christian Edition.**

Now, for those who don't know, Ubuntu is a version of Linux, and thus is an open-source operating system for computers. So, basically, what we're saying is that someone felt the need to create an operating system specifically for Christians. I have to admit, I can't quite imagine why that should be necessary- I mean, does Windows Seven have error messages like, "There has been a fatal error; much like the logical flaws in your slave religion"? Is there a version of OSX that continually asks whether you'd like to take a free personality test from the Dianetics Foundation? Is there some fringe group that wants to put the "Christ" back in "Control-X"?*** Have we reached the point as a culture where any damned thing can be labeled "Christian" and people will view it as better? I am, I admit, at something of a loss, so it's a good thing that the makers of this edition helpfully explained themselves:

Ubuntu Christian Edition is a free, open source operating system geared towards Christians. It is based on the popular Ubuntu Linux. Ubuntu is a complete Linux-based operating system, freely available with both community and professional support. The goal of Ubuntu Christian Edition is to bring the power and security of Ubuntu to Christians. The current Ubuntu Christian Edition release supports both 32 bit and 64 bit PCs. Ubuntu Christian Edition covers every standard desktop application from word processing and spreadsheet applications to web server software and programming tools.

Along with the standard Ubuntu applications, Ubuntu Christian Edition includes the best available Christian software. The latest release contains Xiphos, OpenSong, E-Sword installer, and much more.

Ubuntu Christian Edition also includes fully integrated web content parental controls powered by Dansguardian. A graphical tool to adjust the filter settings has also been developed specifically for Ubuntu Christian Edition. These features are truly what sets Ubuntu Christian Edition apart.

Ah, right, so, the main "features" of this edition have nothing to do with the OS and are, instead, simply about which pieces of software come pre-packaged. Specifically, which pieces of Bible study and web filter software come pre-installed. So, basically, if you want to run a computer, but are so afraid of contamination by the internets that you don't even want to have a vague clue of just what content you're blocking, this is the version of Linux for you. One might wonder why the Christian edition of Ubuntu doesn't come with built-in features for making charitable donations, but then I suppose that would be expecting rather a lot. Virtue is, after all, about avoiding sin rather than seeking to do, and be, good.

Between this and the recent emergence of religious search engines, I'm really starting to wonder if I even participate in the same internet with "Christians". But, then again, I've been doubting for a long time whether I lived in the same universe with them for some time, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

* Actually, I'm somewhat known in my grad program for being aware of virtually every type of weird sexual fetish to be found on the internet. Sort of like a walking dictionary of Rule 34. I should note that this knowledge stems from a previous, and shitty, job that I held wherein I shared an office with an absolute pervert who also ran the company firewall, but I digress.

** Their front page is preceded by ads- just click through.

*** Shit, people, it could happen.

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Anonymous Jonas Wisser said...

To be fair, the Christians aren't alone in this madness. I'm pretty sure Sabiliy used to be called Ubuntu Muslim Edition, and some enterprising [strike]soul[/strike] individual created a tongue-in-cheek Ubuntu Satanic Edition.

I think these OSes (with the exception of USE) exist for the same reasons that antimalware bundles exist. Some people want to do the Right Thing on their computers, but don't want to go to the trouble of actually figuring the damn things out or keeping the promises they made in a fit of faith/on New Year's Day.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010 1:51:00 PM  
Blogger Ken Houghton said...

"Between this and the recent emergence of religious search engines, I'm really starting to wonder if I even participate in the same internet with "Christians". But, then again, I've been doubting for a long time whether I lived in the same universe with them for some time, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised."

Definitely you shouldn't. Bruce Sterling's "Are You For 86?", wherein he notes that Xians can use the I-Net for their own purposes, is from 1992. And that was fiction; G-d knows when the first study was done.

It's just one more reason why "the Internet" doesn't guarantee a functional Democracy. (Take all the Pennsylvanians who were told that the Democrats passed a "tax for the banks" effective 1 Nov. Some portion of them didn't know to check, and some portion of those voted.)

Wednesday, November 03, 2010 3:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Timo said...

I think you'll find that every distribution of Linux(as an OS) is really just which software it comes bundled with. The Linux Kernel itself is pretty much the same across the board. RedHat(for example) decide which software they bundle with the Kernel and consequently will support. Most of the software that comes in Linux is written by different groups and people but made available for free to whomever wants it.

I think your flaw here is treating the "Operating System" as one whole package by a single vendor, which to be fair, is what you get when you buy Windows or OSX. "Linux" is nothing more then individual software packages selected and put together by groups of people who want to create a certain set of functionality to exist "out of the box". That is the real power of FOSS.

I offer these thoughts only so that you may begin to comprehend how this isn't really a big deal. There are thousands of Linux distributions out there. It's pretty easy to make your own. I for one, would welcome Drek Linux.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010 4:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Three Buddhist monks in Nepal have announced the Buddha edition of Linux. This edition or distribution is impervious to viruses. Once the Cd is installed the computer is automatically shut down and nothing at all appears on your monitor.

Thursday, November 04, 2010 12:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The blue screen of death is replaced by a comforting picture of the stairway to heaven. With cherubs, and such.

A snippet of the Hallelujah chorus from Handel's Messiah plays on every successful reboot.

Every audible curse of, "Jesus Christ!" cues a voice that responds, "Yes?"


Monday, November 08, 2010 6:43:00 AM  

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