Total Drek

Or, the thoughts of several frustrated intellectuals on Sociology, Gaming, Science, Politics, Science Fiction, Religion, and whatever the hell else strikes their fancy. There is absolutely no reason why you should read this blog. None. Seriously. Go hit your back button. It's up in the upper left-hand corner of your browser... it says "Back." Don't say we didn't warn you.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Did You Notice?- The Purity Bear: Dinner Date

So, this is an advertisement in favor of abstaining from sex until marriage. Take a look and then we'll see how many of the interesting features you managed to pick out. C'mon! It'll be fun!

Okay, so, did you notice (with times in parentheses):

-The good Christian girl is dating a boy who drives a nice, American car? Wouldn't want one of those foreign cars built by heathens! (0:03)

-The director really seems to enjoy scenes of slowly driving and parking? This may signal his awareness of the quality of his acting talent. (0:00-0:17)

-The American car has a fancy built-in GPS system? Clearly, this boy or his parents have some money. Really, there's a very interesting class story in this video. (0:21)

-The boy apparently gets his advice on sweaters from Mr. Rogers? Honestly, that sucker probably guarantees his "purity" all by itself. (0:30)

-The boy reluctantly making the move after he gets an engraved invitation from his date? Based on his facial expression, I think he was much more interested in going home and catching that "Father Knows Best" marathon. (0:41-0:45)

-The girl's sudden psychotic break and segue into hallucinating a stuffed bear that speaks? (0:46-0:47)

-The fact that the blonde white girl on a date with a financially stable white boy who gets his fashion sense from the 1950s is hallucinating a sassy black woman as the voice for said bear? (0:48)

-The bear is, itself, black in color? (0:48)

-The bear is wearing a silicone wrist band which is, I assume, purity related? (0:48)

-The comparison of a woman who has sex to a pizza that's been eaten? (~0:50)

-That the bear is honestly the best actor in the entire bit? (0:49)

-The girl physically prying the boy's hand off of her neck? (0:55)

-The classic "If we really love each other, we'll wait" line? (~1:00-1:02)

-The boy's faked reluctance to agree? Damn, bitch, get out of the car! Father Knows Best ain't gonna watch itself! (1:04-1:07)

-The girl's date outfit? Christ, did you get that from Bonnie Tyler's yard sale? (1:15-1:17)

-The boy lingering in the driveway, wondering why his date suddenly started pretending to be a sassy black woman? (1:17-1:20)

-The vague, confusingly-phrased, unsourced statistics? The 2/3 of girls statistics applies to adolescents, which I do not think our actors qualify as. That stat, at least, I can source. The chronic depression and sex out of marriage thing may be reverse-causation (i.e. those prone to chronic depression are having sex in an effort to drive back the sadness). I don't even know what to do with the last one- more success at what? Being virgins? (1:23-1:33)

-That the person who designed the "Day of Purity" placard at the end clearly got his inspiration from an ironic place? (1:36-1:41)

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